


Fated

by bookgeeky1990



Category: Vikings (TV)
Genre: F/M, Pregnancy, Smut, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 12:03:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 27,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18894259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookgeeky1990/pseuds/bookgeeky1990
Summary: This is a re-write of what I had originally written. Its still the same name Fated but it has changed significantlyYou are happily married to Ivar. Or so you thought. On a raid he brings back a new woman; Freydis. He hopes he'll have the best of both worlds but he doesn't count on you. You have a choice to make; stay with him and share him or divorce him and start a new life. Whatever route you take, the path will always lead to Ivar. You two are fated after all...Also Freydis is different than that on the TV show and that is only because I have yet to watch S5 but I know a bit about her. Also I'll give you a warning before the chapter if it contains smut/violence





	1. Chapter 1

It wasn't that you didn't love Ivar. You did, with all your heart. You were his first, the one who showed him how to please a woman after his failed attempt with Margarette, you taught him to relax, to not get so worked up about feeling things and being able to please women, he learnt from you the ways to touch and kiss and please.  
And he was fucking good at it.  
You'd only had a few sexual experiences, one was a few weeks with his brother Ubbe, which was mind-blowing if you were being honest and some one from his army but your heart was always Ivar's, ever since you were young, it was his. He didn't have many women falling at his feet, his disability putting a lot of people off. They feared him. But not you.  
When he asked you to be his wife you were over the moon and said yes, practically jumping him there and then. That night, Ivar and you made love for as long as you could, this time there wasn't anything rough about it like there usually was, no animal noises or sounds, this was sensual, slow, loving.  
He may not have said it in so many words but that night he showed it with his body and kisses and it was just bliss.  
Now it had been three years almost and you had been blessed with a son already, Mikkel, but today you get a familiar fluttering in your stomach that made you lie back on the bed and smile to yourself. The last time you and Ivar had been in bed together was about four months ago, just before he went off on a raid. He should be due back any day now and this, this would be the perfect news. You slipped on a dress, and made your way to the seer, you needed to confirm what you thought.  
The hut was empty and he sat there, like he had already seen that you were coming to see him.  
"Queen Y/N, it's been a while."  
You bent down to kiss his hand and sat on the floor by him, ass cushioned by a small throw.  
"I woke up this morning with a fluttering. Is it what I expect?"  
"My Queen, it is. You are with child again..."  
At that, you smiled, a big smile on your face.  
"But."  
That but sent chills down your back.  
"You will carry the child, a healthy and happy baby but you and Ivar... There will be trouble, a divide and you'll have to decide where you lie. Will you severe ties to him and go on your own or will you stay by his side, being unhappy and miserable for the rest of your days."  
"What is it that you see?" You demanded.  
"You'll soon find out."  
You went to ask more but there was a sound of cheering coming from outside and you left, seeing the boats coming into the harbour. Ivar was home.  
You made your way over to where all the women were stood, noticing a few that were stood on tiptoes, eagerly awaiting their glimpse of Hvitserk. Your younger brother soon left a lot of broken hearts in Kattegat. You noticed Hvitserk come off the boat first, his eyes looking around until they found yours, he looked... Distressed almost.  
"What is it?" You asked as soon as he was near you.  
He put his arms around you, spinning you so your back was to the boat. If Ivar hadn't have crawled your way into your heart, Hvitserk would have been your next choice. He was loyal, a sweetheart and looking into his eyes right now, you wished it had been him. Oh so briefly you wished it was him who'd buried itself in your heart.  
"Hvitserk what is it?"  
"Ivar... No no he's fine but, he freed a slave, a female slave and well he's taken her as a lover, he's brought her back to... I don't know. To share you probably."  
"Are you fucking serious?" You hissed at him, turning to see Ivar walking down the boat on his crutches.  
"He's walking now too?" You turned incredulous eyes on Hvitserk.  
"We had a few near misses but those braces help stable his legs. He can walk quite well, he still needs to rest but you know Ivar, it's like he has a new lease of life."  
You were amazed. In all the time you'd known Ivar, he'd got around by pulling himself on his arms, occasionally pulling himself up to stand but not for long. That didn't matter to you, because you loved him and now... Wow. You couldn't believe how tall he looked, how strong.  
How cocky too.  
He had a shit eating smirk on his face and any other time you would have been smirking along with him but not now. Not when you saw the petite, curvy blonde by his side. Smiling up at him and then at the crowd like she was their fucking Queen and not you.  
"Y/N don't..."  
"I'll rip her fucking head off her body, pregnant or not."  
"What? Your pregnant?" Hvitserk whispered.  
"The seer confirmed it."  
The one thing that annoyed you even more, was the fact that Ivar wasn't looking for you, he was too busy catching the look from his people as he walked through them, to notice if you were there or not.  
And that... That made your heart harden.  
Because Ivar always looked for you in the crowd whenever he came back but now he had the new whore with him, you'd been forgotten.  
"Did he sleep with anyone else?"  
"Y/N..."  
"Hvitserk did he?" You hissed.  
He nodded, eyes looking to the ground and you took a deep in take of breath. Ivar always said that you were enough for him, that he didn't want anyone else because you satisfied all his needs.  
So what the fuck had changed in the past four months.  
"Hvitserk, tell Ivar you couldn't find me."  
"Wait what. Where are you going?"  
"Erica..." You called your thrall towards you and she happily obliged. Erica was like a sister to you, more of a confidant than anything else. She had Mikkel in her arms and you lent over to kiss his chubby little cheek. He giggled as you tickled him under the chin add he held his arms out for Hvitserk to hold him. He happily obliged.  
"If Ivar ever notices that I'm not there, tell him I am with the seer and then I have errands to run."  
"Yes my Queen." Erica did a little nod in your direction before scuttling off to the hall before Ivar could notice where we were. "What are you doing?" Hvitserk asked, Mikkel tugging in his braids  
"Going to see the seer I told you."  
You kissed Mikkel on the cheek again, running your fingers through his dark hair before patting Hvitserk on the cheek before leaving to go back to the Seer's hut.  
What you didn't see though was Ivar watching you as you walked away, frowning at your retreating back.


	2. Fated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: You are happily married to Ivar. Or so you thought. On a raid he brings back a new woman; Freydis. He hopes he'll have the best of both worlds but he doesn't count on you. You have a choice to make; stay with him and share him or divorce him and start a new life. Whatever route you take, the path will always lead to Ivar. You two are fated after all...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut in this one :)

"Ivar will be hers won't he?"   
"I see him loving two women. You and her. His love for her is different, an obligation almost. His love for you is what keeps him grounded, keeps him breathing."   
You snorted at that, rolling your eyes. Ivar loved nothing. He'd never told you that, never once uttered those words to you. So how could you believe what the seer said?   
"He's never told me that so why... Why would I believe it?"   
"He may not have said it but he's shown it hasn't he?"   
You remembered the night you were married, the night before he went off raiding, the night after your engagement. That time when you thought you were pregnant but it was just a phantom one and you'd cried for most of the night while Ivar held you tightly. How he'd kissed your brow when you had were ill and had a fever, how he'd stayed by your side.   
Okay so he showed it. But would it hurt to hear those words from him? You said it all the time.   
"The decision you gave me, it's about his new woman isn't it. I have to decide whether to stay or go?"   
"Ivar chose a great wife, you are shrewd, intelligent but you are prone to jealousy and quick judgements. This is your decision. Both will have the same outcome however."   
"And that is?"   
But he just motioned you away by putting his hand out to you. You bent, licking his hand before slamming the door shut behind you.   
"Now why would my wife need to go visit the Seer?"   
Ivar voice came floating towards you and you turned to see him propped up against a tree, crutches in hand. You scoffed at him, before walking past him but he grabbed your arm, stopping you.   
"That is no way to say hello to your husband is it?"   
"What do you want me to say?" You snapped at him.   
"I expected a grand greeting back home. A few kisses, an hour in the bedroom at least. But instead I find you at the Seers hut, not even a look of happiness to see me."   
You put a fake smile on your face, touching his arm and dragging your fingers up his arm until it got to his shoulder, letting your fingers trace his lips before kissing him, he let out a groan at the feel of your lips and the fake smile turned into a genuine one as you felt his arousal against your hip. You deepened the kiss, hands tugging on his braids to tip his head back so you could kiss his neck like you knew he liked. His hand on your waist tightened as your teeth grazed his skin. Ivar let out a hiss of pleasure before he brought your head back in a bruising kiss.   
"I don't think I can make it back to our room." He groaned, biting your lip.   
"Can... Can your braces keep you stable if we do it here?" You asked, your own arousal, clouding your judgement. You were angry with him, angry for fucking other women and bringing home a whore.   
"Let's go to the hut..."   
You knew the one he meant, it was your old hut, the one where you showed him how to please a woman. It would be perfect actually because however much you loved him, you weren't going to share him.   
"There's plenty of time to get reacquainted with each other."   
"I want my wife after four months apart and you're turning me down?" He asked incredulous but with a hint of anger too. "And here's me thinking you were too busy with your new whore to even give your wife a second thought."   
And there it was, the look of anger and shock on Ivar's face, the way to warred between the two. You were pleased to have got such a reaction out of him to be honest.   
"Fucking Hvitserk." He grumbled.   
"I would have found out either way, especially the way she clung to your side when you got off the boat. Already acting like your Queen isn't she?"   
"She will never be my Queen. That will be you and only you."   
"Lucky me." You hissed.   
"Are you jealous?"   
"Of what Ivar? Of my husband going off and fucking other women, of bringing one back so he can fucking share us?"   
"So you are jealous."   
The smirk on his face, the fucking smirk is what made you lose your temper. You slapped him across the face, the sound echoing around the field. He laughed as moved his jaw from side to side, giving out a deep laugh.   
"I hate you. I actually hate you. Is that what you wanted?" You told him.  
"You need to calm down."  
"No, my king, what I need is for you to get the fuck away from me!" You seethed.  
He frowned down at you, his confusion soon turning into anger.  
"I trusted you. You said I was enough for you and now... Now what? You parade around a fucking slave like she's your Queen? I'm your Queen Ivar! Keep going with that whore and not only will I leave Kattegat but I will take Mikkel with me. And once we are free I will go to the far corners of the earth, somewhere you won't find us and fuck all the men I can."  
"You're mine! You don't go off with other men!" He yelled.   
"And you're mine and yet here you are, fucking another woman like it's nothing. Either she goes or I go."  
"Y/N, please... I just got back from a raid and all I want is to spend time with my wife and my son."  
"Listen to me Ivar; Her or me, your son and the child that's growing inside me. You can't have all of us."  
"You're..."   
His eyes lost the anger, instead flashing in delight as he reached out, hand touching your stomach. His blue eyes lit up in happiness, a smile forming on his face.   
Fucking bastard, you thought, his happy smile like that did things to you and you always forgot why you were angry with him. "Four months." You whispered and his eyes slid to yours, searching your face.   
"Are you not happy?"   
"I was fucking ecstatic before you came back with her." You whispered.   
"Y/N, please believe me when I say you will always be my Queen, always be my number one. Even more so now your with child..."   
"And her...? Ivar, I gave you a choice. I'm not backing down on this."  
He worked his jaw, clearly pissed off with the situation but if he wanted another woman then fine, he could have her.   
But you'd be gone.   
"Stay. Please. Don't... Don't leave."  
"And what of her Ivar?"  
"She's... She'll go. Leave the hall."  
"No, she'll leave Kattegat. I'm not having her near here. That's my bargain Ivar. She leaves Kattegat and she leaves now."  
"Okay. It's done."  
"Why do I feel like you're lying? If she comes back here, I'm leaving. And that's not a threat Ivar."  
He nodded, leaning forward to kiss you softly on the lips before leading you back into the hall to tell everyone the news. The whore glared at you from the crowd, pure venom in her eyes.   
"Congratulations my Queen, my King." Erica told you, hugging you as you smiled. There was still that lingering doubt though that Ivar was lying to you. Hvitserk brought over Mikkel, your little boy already dirty, food all over his face.   
"What have you been doing with him?" You asked Hvitersk, laughter in your eyes as you took him from his arms.   
"Playing. He has so much energy. Too much if you ask me."  
"My little wild child." You said, grinning reaching for a cloth to try and wipe the dirt off his face.   
"Papa." Mikkel smiled, toddling over to wrap his chubby little arms around his leg.  
"Congratulations to the both of you." Hvitserk said, pretending that he'd only just heard the news. He hugged you and you held him tight, kissing him on the cheek as he let go. Ivar frowned at you, his jaw clenched at the affection you'd shown his brother.  
The whore came over to you, fake smile plastered all over her face.   
"Congratulations." She said, sugary sweet.  
"My Queen." You supplied for her, looking at her like an annoying fly.   
"I'm Freydis."   
"I don't care." You responded, turning your back on her dismissively and picking Mikkel up.   
Once the celebrations were over and the raiding money and jewels were all handed out, you went to your room, slipping out of your dress and into a comfortable shift. Erica had taken Mikkel to sleep in with her under Ivar's orders and you wished he'd stayed because then you wouldn't have to be alone with him again. You heard Ivar's crutches stomping on the floor and you felt his hands go around your waist, rubbing your belly.   
"It's a boy, I can sense it." He whispered, nuzzling your neck.   
"You're truly happy?" You asked, trying not to let your body show him just how much you'd missed him but it was sparking alive at his touch.  
"More than happy."   
"It could be a girl you know." You joked, moving your neck further to the side as he started kissing you, his hand pulling at the fabric of your dress so he could cup you. His fingers grazed your lips and you moaned as they teased you. You brought an arm up and above his neck, pulling at his braids as his fingers slipped in, pleasuring you slowly. You moaned his name as his fingers slid in and out of you and you felt his growing erection against your back.   
"Ivar..." You moaned, pulling his braids tighter as you felt a wave pass over you, hissing as you came. It had been too long and god the pleasure was too much.   
You turned in his arms, kissing him passionately, tongue mixing with his as you pulled him down onto the bed with you, his weight on top.   
"My Queen is hungry..." He cockily said, as he slowly twisted his hips, his erection pushing into you.   
"Just hurry the fuck up Ivar..."   
You pulled at his tunic, pulling it up and over his head as quick as you could. He laughed against your lips and you flipped him over, straddling him. The tattoos on his chest were new and you briefly ran your eyes over the intricate designs before you fumbled with his trousers but they would only go down so far because of the braces but who cared as long as he was free. He bunched up your dress watching as you positioned yourself over his erection and slowly slid down on him, taking him all in. Ivar loved watching you join together, liked knowing that he could still fit, that he could pleasure you.   
You let yourself adjust to his size and then started to slowly move up and down on him, each time taking him in further. His fingers dug into your hips, moving you faster when you weren't going quick enough. You lent back slightly, hands resting on his leg braces as you moved your hips, bringing your body up and down as your screams echoed throughout your room. Ivar moaned under you, fingers bruising your skin before he grasped your hips and twisted you over onto your back. His upper body strength amazed you, muscles straining as he held himself above you as he thrust into you. You grabbed his face, bringing it down to yours as you kissed him, biting his lip as a wave of pleasure took over your body. You let out a scream, his movements getting faster with each noise you made. You scratched his back, wrapping your legs tighter around his waist both of your moans getting louder and louder. You shouted his name as you came and he let out a grunting shout as he spilled inside you, dropping his body onto yours. He shifted slightly when he realised his full weight was on you.   
"Fuck..." You moaned, still coming down from your high. He slowly slid out if you, moving down the bed so his head was resting in your stomach, peppering it with kisses.   
"Sorry for that little one." He whispered and you laughed.   
"You, me and Mikkel will go on some grand adventures when you are older and I'll teach you how to shoot an arrow and fight, how to be cunning and win against your enemies."   
"I told you, it could be a girl."   
"She can still be taught to fight, a shieldmaiden like her mother."   
His body travelled back up to yours and he nuzzled his nose against yours before kissing your cheek and settling down beside you. You snuggled into his side, head resting over his heart.   
You forgot all about the whore he brought home.   
That is until you woke up in the middle of the night, your bed empty, Ivar no where to be seen.   
You got out of bed, opening your door and thats when you heard the sex noises coming further down the hall. You thought it might be Hvitserk but no, you knew that grunt, you knew the noises he made and your heart broke. Tore right in half and shattered on the floor. You heard her soft little moans and you were all about ready to smash the door open and tear her head from her body when the noises stopped and you heard her speak.   
"Can you not stay?"   
"I want to get back to my wife before she wakes."   
"But Ivar... Please, just stay."   
"She's my Queen, my wife, she's carrying my child. I cannot toss her to the side."   
"You did for the past four months."   
"Freydis, you need to leave Kattegat..."  
"I'm not going Ivar. The gods chose me for you and we cannot anger them. You wouldn't want that either would you?"  
You'd heard enough. Walking back to your room and climbing into bed you let yourself cry; over yourself, your broken heart, of loosing Ivar, of the fact that your child will never know his father...   
Because tomorrow, before anyone woke up, you and Mikkel were leaving.   
And you were going to divorce Ivar.


	3. Fated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: You are happily married to Ivar. Or so you thought. On a raid he brings back a new woman; Freydis. He hopes he'll have the best of both worlds but he doesn't count on you. You have a choice to make; stay with him and share him or divorce him and start a new life. Whatever route you take, the path will always lead to Ivar. You two are fated after all...

Early the next morning you slid out of Ivar's arms. He came back after he'd been with Freydis, sorry the whore and you could barely keep your body from flinching in disgust.   
Not once during your marriage, during your courtship had Ivar disgusted you, but now... Now you couldn't keep the repulsion at bay.   
It was still dark outside and the thralls hadn't yet begun their work. You packed some clothes for you and Mikkal, throwing them into a chest and went to the only person, other than Erica, you could trust.   
Sneaking down the corridor, you put your ear to Hvitserk's door, just in case he was busy. When you heard nothing, you went in, walking to the bed and nudging his shoulder.   
"What... Y/N what's going on?"   
"I need you to help me. Please."   
"To do what?"   
"I can't stay here. He snuck into her room last night and fucked her, after he fucked me. I'm not sharing, I have to go."   
Hvitserk nodded, understanding what you meant and pulled on a tunic, following you to your room. Ivar was still asleep and you thanked the gods for that because if he was awake, this would have been harder. You pointed to the box and Hvitserk picked it up, carrying it out and to a cart that he'd get ready for you. You went to the bed, softly kissing Ivar on the forehead. You saw a small smile grace his lips and you swallowed back a sob.   
"I will always love you." You whispered before tiptoeing out of the room and going to Erica's to pick up Mikkel before going to the cart Hvitserk had ready.   
"Where will you go?"   
"Home. I'll be back later with a seer and my father to... To divorce Ivar."   
"You don't have to do this you know. You can stay and fight for him, stay and fight her. I'll back you. Ivar is a fool for letting you go and bringing her back."   
"Sometimes Hvitserk, I wish it had been you."   
"I've tasted your cooking, we wouldn't have lasted long."   
You laughed, hitting him on the arm before you lent up to give him a small kiss on the lips. Out of all the Ragnarssons, Hvitserk was your favourite, well other than Ivar.  
"You'll be safe?"   
"It's not far. I shall see you soon Hvitserk."   
The journey to your parents wasn't as long as you remembered and as soon as you got there, your mother was waiting for you, arms open. You ran to them, hugging her close as she soothed away your tears.   
Once inside, you told her everything, your father sat near you, Mikkel on his lap but his eyes were full of anger.  
"You should have never married him." He barked.   
"I love him father, I always will but I will not share him, I will not be second best to a whore."   
"I'll kill him."   
"Father..."   
"Eric!" Your mother snapped, breaking him out of his anger. Your parents were the reason you believed in a happy marriage. Both father and mother could have taken many lovers, could have had their pick of anyone but they chose each other, chose to stay loyal. They'd had eight children, five boys and three girls. The boys were busy making a name for themselves in different armies and you didn't get to see them much. Once they heard, they would most probably slaughter Ivar.   
Your two younger sisters, were too young at the moment to consider being married but they were busy learning the ways of shieldmaiden. Your parents didn't raise weak children.   
"Trust me father, slaughtering Ivar would be a mistake. I'm... I'm just going to go back for a divorce and stay here until the baby comes. After that I'll... Remarry I guess."   
Your mother frowned at you but didn't argue. You were prone to rash decisions, just like the seer said you were, and this was probably a rash decision but you couldn't help it. You weren't sharing.   
"I'll send word to the seer and then we will go. The quicker this is done, the quicker we can look after you."   
You nodded at your mother and pulled your cloak further around you as she left to get the seer. Your seer, not Ivar's.   
"I'm making a rash decision aren't I father?" You asked him, leaning over to pick up some bread, dipping it into your broth before feeding it to Mikkel.  
"It's your decision Y/N, only you can decide what is best. Your mother and I have never had to make one of these, so all I can say is, follow your heart."   
"My heart is saying Ivar but my head says leave."   
"Then let me ask you this; if you stay, would you be happy with him bed hopping?"   
"No, the thought of him doing that with another woman, while I was in bed waiting for him, makes me want to go and kill people."   
Your father chuckled, taking a sip of his beer.   
"Then you have your answer. It's going to hurt, I can see that you love him and I was a bit skeptical when you said you wanted to marry him but you're the type of woman who knows her own mind. You follow your mother in that respect."   
"And you'll help me, won't you father?"   
"My darling, I will be the best grandfather you can ask for. I will be your rock."   
"You already are the best grandfather." You laughed, watching as Mikkel played with the beads in your father's beard.  
You smiled at your father just as he smiled back. The door to your family home opened and in strode your mother, the seer behind her.   
"Are you ready?"   
You looked to your father and he nodded, standing up with you. Your mother had brought along your sisters, Thora and Runa as witnesses.   
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Your heart was beating wildly in your chest as you took the cart journey back to your home, to Ivar's home. Runa held your hand throughout the journey and by the time you got there, got to the hall, you could hear Ivar raging.   
"Where is my wife and son?!" He shouted, followed by something smashing.   
Your mother turned to you, eyebrows raised, as if to say that that didn't sound like a man who didn't care about you, but you turned from her gaze, holding your father's hand instead.   
"Are you sure this is what you want?" Your mother, Olga, asked you.   
Before you could answer, the seer butted in.   
"Her course has been set. She could have either stayed here and be miserable, slowly becoming rotten or she could break her own heart and make her own path. Both paths however still lead to Ivar, it will always lead to Ivar. He will never leave her heart."   
He turned his blank eyes towards you and you shuddered. Their was something about your families seer that was different to the one here in Kattegat. The one here was always cryptic, your families seer always told the truth. Whether you wanted to hear it or not.   
"Then... I'd rather you be heartbroken than miserable and rotten my daughter." Your mother cupped your cheek, smiling at you. Your father was the more emotional one ironically. Your mother was tough.   
"Let's go."   
Your mother burst through the doors and you followed in behind her, hand clasped in your father's. You'd left Mikkel with one of your mother's friends. All eyes turned to you, Ivar's pure rage until he realised you were there too.   
"Where the hell have you been?" He roared.   
You turned to face him, trying your hardest not to cry. Your father gave your hand a reassuring squeeze and you briefly caught Hvitserk's eye and he nodded to you.   
"I'm here for a divorce."   
"Not granted. No way in Hel."   
"Ivar, listen to me. I am here for a divorce!"   
He was breathing heavily, glaring at you and you stood a little straighter, eyes glaring back at him.   
"I am not sharing you Ivar. I said last night you had to make a decision and you made it. I am not going to watch you creep from my bed just for you to go and fuck a whore. You think I didn't hear you last night? After you shared our bed, after you kissed my stomach and spoke to our child. You went and fucked... That. I'm not doing it Ivar. I'd rather be heartbroken for the rest of my fucking life than stay here and be miserable. So you will grant me the fucking divorce Ivar or I will rip her fucking head off and make you wipe her blood up."   
At that Freydis, who'd been smiling to herself at your outburst, blanched. Her face going pale at your words. You expected Ivar's eyes to be full of pure rage but you balked at the... Heartbreak in them.   
That couldn't be right. Ivar had only been heartbroken once; when his mother died. Unless he was mourning the fact that his pretty little whore would have her head ripped off.   
"You... You're truly doing this. What about Mikkel and my child growing inside you?"  
"I'll never let you not see him Ivar, but I am not staying here."   
"You'll make me miss everything. Your belly expanding, the kicks, being there when you give birth?"   
He was not going to creep into your heart and mend it. He wasn't. You looked to your father, to your mother but they just nodded their heads. Tears were falling down your cheeks, blurring your vision of Ivar but you had to do it.   
You walked to him, taking his free hand that wasn't holding a crutch and put it on your stomach. He looked at you, his blue eyes bluer than ever and you wiped tears away from your eyes so you could see him properly.   
"Ivar, son of Ragnar and Princess Aslaug. I am divorcing you on the grounds of infedelity, of not being true to your wife. I cannot be here while you disrespect our marriage, while you make a mockery of me. Ivar please... Please grant this. I can't stay here, I just can't."   
He looked into your eyes and you swore, you swore you could see tears forming but Ivar wouldn't cry over you... Would he?   
"You will always be mine."   
Then he pulled away from you and you knew he'd granted your divorce. Your seer came forward, doing what he needed to do and before you knew it, you were free from Ivar.   
"Y/N, you will never be rid of me you know that don't you? I will always be in there and in there."   
He touched your head and then heart and you nodded before walking back to your family and out of your home with Ivar.   
The pain in your chest felt like it was going to crush you. And if you had looked back, you would have seen him wipe away a tear.


	4. Fated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: You are happily married to Ivar. Or so you thought. On a raid he brings back a new woman; Freydis. He hopes he'll have the best of both worlds but he doesn't count on you. You have a choice to make; stay with him and share him or divorce him and start a new life. Whatever route you take, the path will always lead to Ivar. You two are fated after all...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader gives birth!

You were lay on the bed, moaning in pain as the birth pains became more and more prominent. Sweat was dripping down your brow and you were so tired you could barely sit up anymore.   
The labour was slow, so slow. The midwife said she'd never seen a labour this slow before and you panicked thinking you'd done something wrong or your child would die. Mikkel's birth was easy, nothing like this one and you prayed to the Gods that you would get through this. That both of you would.   
"This is ridiculous. The baby should be here now." Your mother whispered to the midwife.   
Erica wiped your brow, you'd managed to get her from Kattegat when you left, thanks to Hvitserk's quick thinking to make sure she was outside and by the cart before you left.   
You were glad she was here but you wished, you wished Ivar was too.   
"She's having a little trouble, that is all. Both baby and mother are fine, he just doesn't want to come out just yet."   
"We should... We should get Ivar." Thora whispered to Erica but you heard her. You went to say no but you didn't, pretending that you hadn't because you wanted to see him.   
These past five months had been lonely, Mikkel was growing so much and had lost some of his chubbiness. He seemed to spend the majority of his time with your father. He idolised him, more so than he did Ivar. Your mother was busy training your sisters and seeing as you were too fat to join in, you didn't have a lot of time with them. You wished Ivar had been there to help you through this, to see your stomach grow...  
Not that he needed your sympathy.   
The bastard. The fucking, lying, cheating bastard.  
Whatever passed between Erica and Thora was settled immediately and Thora left, running from the room. You knew where she was going.   
You sat up slowly, the pains getting worse as you pushed, letting out a loud, long scream before flopping back on the bed.   
"I can't do this anymore. I just can't..." You cried as Erica came to your side, holding your hand.   
"You can and you will. Just imagine it, a son or daughter, just like you. Imagine the joy they will bring to you."  
Tears leaked from your eyes because you knew this child would look more like Ivar than you, just like Mikkel does. And that would be like a sucker punch to your heart. You really didn't care what the sex was, just as long as they arrived safely.   
"You can do this. You are strong and tough and beautiful and the best woman I know. You can do this."   
"She's right you know."   
You turned seeing Ivar in the doorway, crutches on both arms. You let out a sob before the midwife told you to push again. Ivar watched you, watched as you screamed and clung tightly to the sheets, tearing them.   
"You can do this. Just a few more pushes." The midwife encouraged you but you just fell back to the bed, sobbing, this one was taking too much out of you.   
"I can't..."   
The bed shifted beside you and you saw Ivar, he took your head in his hands, staring into your eyes.   
"You will do this. You will push our child out because you can. You did it with Mikkel, you can do it again. It hurts, I get that but you've faced warriors on the battlefield, men bigger and stronger than you and you've fought them, killed them. Pushing a child out is nothing, you've done it before. You are my beautiful Y/N."   
You nodded, tears falling still and you felt Ivar shift, his body behind you. Sitting awkwardly but he was there, holding you as you gave birth.   
You grabbed onto his hands, pushing and letting out the biggest battle cry you could give. Ivar's lips were on the side of your head, kissing you, encouraging you and with one final push, a baby's cry echoed around the room.   
"Another boy."   
"Told you it would be a boy." Ivar muttered into your sweaty hair. He was bundled up in cloth while the midwife helped deliver your afterbirth. Once you were cleaned as best as you could be, Erica handed over your son, his cries soothing as soon as he was in your arms.   
"Hello my son." You whispered, bringing his head to your lips and kissing him. Ivar had his head on your shoulder, arms around you as he glanced down at him.   
"Thank you." He whispered.   
"For what?"   
"For giving me another son, for letting me be here to see this. You... You have no idea..."   
Then he kissed you, softly, lovingly on the lips and you... You didn't know how to feel about that.   
"What shall we name him?" You whispered when he pulled away, looking you over.  
"Enar."   
"Then Enar it is. Do you... Do you want to hold him?"   
Ivar nodded, not quite trusting his voice. You handed Enar over to him, seeing Ivar's strong arms holding Enar's tiny frame. Your heart swelled just looking at them. The door opened and in ran Mikkel, your father eyeing up Ivar in the bed before he shut the door. He'd see his new grandson soon. Mikkel climbed onto the bed and he used your shoulders to peer up at the bundle in Ivar's arms.   
"Hello my son. Meet your brother."  
Mikkel peered at his little brother, his little fingers touching his head before he sat down and settled next to you.  
"I won't stop you from seeing him Ivar. He'll always know who you are, will always love his father. Just like Mikkel does."   
"Come back... Please." Ivar said, voice hoarse.   
"Ivar I can't."   
"I won't expect anything, you don't have to stay in the hall, you can stay in one of the huts, but please. Please come back."   
His voice cracked and gods dammit your heart broke.   
"You can bring your family too, bring anyone you want, just... I have to have them near. I've missed Mikkel so much."   
He needed his sons, not you and you swallowed thickly, nodding your head.   
"You'll... If and I mean if, I come back. That's it for us. I'm not coming back to be another whore to you. I'm coming back for my son's sakes."   
"I will stay here until you are safe to travel." He replied, ignoring you.   
Ivar looked down again at his son, seeing his little eyes blink open and then close again, his little mouth puckering into a pout.   
"I think he wants feeding." Ivar laughed, handing Enar over to you. You shifted your dress, little Enar latching onto your nipple as he began to suckle. You stroked his hair, his cheek, his little nose as he ate and your heart swelled with love, so much love for your son. It was the same feeling you had when Mikkel was born.  
Ivar watched you smiling, watching the love swell in your face and he hoped, prayed to the gods really, that he'd get to see you look at him like that again. He'd damn well make sure you did.


	5. Fated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: You are happily married to Ivar. Or so you thought. On a raid he brings back a new woman; Freydis. He hopes he'll have the best of both worlds but he doesn't count on you. You have a choice to make; stay with him and share him or divorce him and start a new life. Whatever route you take, the path will always lead to Ivar. You two are fated after all...

Ivar stayed for three weeks, leaving Hvitserk in charge of Kattegat. There was something he wasn't telling you but you let it slide. You put off moving for as long as you could, just so you could have a happy little family before you went back.   
Your mother and father were coming with you, likewise your sisters and your brother's had transferred over to Ivar's men so they could be close.   
You knew why they were doing it; to keep you busy and your mind away from thoughts of Ivar when you got back.   
Enar was growing healthy and strong every day and Mikkel was just as mischievous as he had always been, sneaking up on Ivar, on you, on anyone who got in his way. He loved his little brother, always fiercely protective over him if someone you didn't know asked to hold him.   
When the time came to move back your mood changed. You went from happy and content, to miserable and argumentative. Your family knew why but Ivar was oblivious.   
"Why are you being like this?"   
"I'm not sure coming back is a good idea."   
"I keep telling you that it is."   
"Maybe I'll find myself a new husband while I'm there." You snapped, knowing full well Ivar's mood would change instantly. His eyes narrowed as he turned to look at you.   
"And why would you want a new husband?"   
"Winter is almost here, it would be nice to have someone warm my bed. Maybe I should ask Hvitserk, he's still single isn't he?" You watched Ivar's hands clench into fists and you smiled to yourself. Getting a rise out of Ivar was one of your favourite things to do because it always showed that he cared, in some way or another.   
"I am not having another man raise Mikkel and Enar." He snapped.   
Ah so that was the real reason.   
"I'm sure your whore could give you another son."   
But he ignored you, focusing on the journey ahead instead. Fine.   
When you got to Kattegat, the first to greet you was Hvitserk and you hugged him tightly when you reached him.   
"So where are my little nephews?"   
Mikkel was out of the cart straight away, running over to Hvitserk and jumping on him. He hugged him back, tickling him until his laughter echoed around the nay. You laughed too, motioning Thora forward, Enar wrapped in furs. Hvitserk made a fuss over him too and you could feel Ivar's tension from where he stood.   
"How have things been here?" You asked.   
"She's still here if that's what you mean."   
"Has he...?"   
"Married her? Yes."   
You did have your suspicions but it still hurt to hear.   
"Maybe you and I should marry Hvitserk."   
A low rumbling growl came from behind you and you turned to see Ivar standing close to you.   
"Oh stop laying claim to me, you have no right anymore." You snapped, probably more harshly than you should.   
"Fine... Then by all means marry my brother."   
And he walked into the hall, some of the men cheering when he walked in. You weren't going in there however, and you told Hvitserk as such.   
"I'll take you to the hut he has set for you."   
You walked with Hvitserk to where the hut was, noticing your family were already in there making themselves at home.   
"It's bigger, but not by much. It'll do." Mother crowed, smiling over at you and Hvitserk. You could see the calculating way she looked at the pair of you and you rolled your eyes.   
You set about getting Enar settled, fussing over him when he began to cry. Enar didn't cry much but when he did, it was hard to get him settled. After crying so much, he tired himself out and settled down for a nap and you managed to get Mikkel to go down for one too.   
"He'll expect you to come and eat in the hall. You know that?" Hvitserk told you.   
"I'm not eating in the hall. He can make as much fuss as he wants."   
"He'll want to show Enar off. And Mikkel, you know how much everyone loves that child."   
"As if I'd let him parade my child around like a toy."   
Hvitserk laughed and you hit him playfully on the shoulder.   
"What?"   
"It's good to have you back that's all. We've been missing a spark around here."   
You clicked your tongue at him, shooing him away and he left laughing. He'd most probably be back later when he wanted more food.   
"You and the Prince..."   
"Oh mother hush. Hvitserk and I feel nothing for each other."   
"Well that's a shame."   
"If I ever find another husband, they won't be apart of the Ragnarsson family. That's for sure."   
Later that evening, the door to the hut knocked and when you opened it, there was Ivar, standing there furious.   
"I expected you at the hall..."   
"Enar and Mikkel are both asleep. I was not going to wake them just so you could parade them around. I'll be there tomorrow, goodnight Ivar."   
You tried to push the door shut on him but he held firm, keeping the door open.   
"What? What is it that you want?"   
He looked at you, eyes scanning over your body. You were a lot curvier now that you'd had Enar but it didn't bother you. It made the men stare more, just like Ivar was now. Your skin prickled and you hoped he didn't see the effect he was having on you.   
"I expect to see you in the morning."   
"If I can be bothered. Good night Ivar."   
"Were you serious? About having a new husband?"   
"Maybe. Why?"   
"I could always warm your bed up for you..."   
"Ivar. Go home and fuck your new Queen. Fill her up with children, we aren't going to be anything more than just two people who have two children together. So I'll say it again; goodnight Ivar."   
And with a shocked look on his face, you took advantage and closed the door, bolting it shut for added measure.   
Why? Why did you agree to come back?


	6. Fated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: You are happily married to Ivar. Or so you thought. On a raid he brings back a new woman; Freydis. He hopes he'll have the best of both worlds but he doesn't count on you. You have a choice to make; stay with him and share him or divorce him and start a new life. Whatever route you take, the path will always lead to Ivar. You two are fated after all...

You spent four whole months disobeying Ivar. It was satisfying to say no to him, to not go to the hall and eat. He saw Mikkel and Enar every day, you never denied him that, but not being in his presence all the time, not looking into those blue eyes and wanting to have those lips on yours, was slowly, oh so slowly leaving your body.   
Your brother's were here now, all five of them; Ander, Halvor, Ottar, Storr and Vegard. Each one of them taller and more muscly than you'd last seen them. You still didn't see them as much now, each of them living their own lives in Kattegat but if you were lucky then they'd often drop by with gossip from the hall.   
"He looks for Y/N every night."   
"Gets really pissed when she doesn't show up."   
"There's rumours that him and Freydis are having problems."   
"Can't get our sister out of his head apparently."   
And over and over, every time there was something new, whispered to your parents when they thought you'd gone to see to the boys. They thought you couldn't hear them, but you could. You wasn't quite sure how to feel about it all.   
Plus, you had a suitor now, much to your mother's delight. He was in Ivar's army too; tall, blonde, a total opposite to Ivar. He was sweet and caring and didn't mind showing people his feelings. He was sweet and good but he didn't make your heart race as much as Ivar did. Still does. Who were you kidding? You would never be free of him.   
The hut door opened and there stood Kol, smile on this face. You'd foolishly said you would go with him to the hall tonight. There was going to be a feast, Ivar was off raiding and, by the gods and the Seers foresight, it was going to be a good one.   
Plus Floki was going to be there and you weren't going to miss the chance to see your favourite guy. He'd been away travelling, seeing as much as he could after the death of his beloved Helga. You missed her too, she was always your confidant when it came to your frustrations regarding Ivar.   
"Are you ready?" Kol asked you, smile on his face.   
You weren't quite sure what to wear to this, knowing that the whore would be in your finery. Well she'd probably be in different finery, seeing as she was shorter than you, so instead you'd found a dress at the market, red, Ivar's favourite colour on you and you'd paired it with a gold belt around your middle, accentuating your now curvier frame since giving birth to Enar. Thora had plaited sections of your hair, shorter now than it used to be and Runa had helped you blacken your eyes, only slightly, not too much. You didn't want to seem as though you were making an effort.   
You draped a cape around you shoulders, the weather outside was bitter at this time of year.   
"Let's go." You smiled at Kol, taking his arm.   
"Runa, please come fetch me if Mikkel or Enar wakes or if they need me..."   
"Mikkel and Enar will be fine sister. Mother is here, she raised all of us. I'm sure she'll be fine with them. Besides they are asleep."   
"Runa..." You said, eyes pleading at her, trying to convey that you didn't want to stay long at the hall and having the boys was the best way to go about it.   
"Fine, I will come fetch you."   
"Thank you."   
You walked out into the night with Kol, standing close to him as the cold wind whipped around you. You took a deep breath when you reached the hall and Kol waited for you to catch your breath, knowing how hard this would be for you. You have his arm a squeeze, telling him that you were fine and you walked in. The revelries had already begun, most of Ivar's men were already drunk, the thralls sitting in their laps. You noticed your brother's, already full of alcohol and Ottar picked you up, spinning you around in a hug.   
"Boys, this is my beautiful sister Y/N, a free woman! Disrespect her however and I will kill you all."   
The men cheered and went back to their drinking and Ottar put me back on my feet and you laughed at him, swatting his arm before he walked over to one of the thralls.  
"Sorry about my brother."   
"Don't worry about it." Kol laughed.   
Your eyes quickly sought where Ivar was, knowing he'd have heard your brother's rumbling voice over the noise. You saw him, sat on his chair, eyes looking straight at you but you ignored him, eyes looking for someone else instead.   
"Floki!" You squealed, running up to the giant of a man and hugging him close. He was stood near Ivar and you knew full well he'd be raging at the fact that you ignored him.   
"My Queen." Floki responded hugging you back.   
"I'm no longer his Queen."   
"You'll always be Queen, not that little imposter over there."   
You looked to where Floki was looking, Freydis was currently talking to some women, dressed in a navy blue dress and bedecked in jewels. Your jewels. Her hair was in elaborate twists and plaits, pinned up by hair pins.   
She looked like a child playing dress up.   
"Not a fan Floki?"   
"She's not for Ivar. Not made for him. The gods made you for him Y/N. He was a fool for ever starting anything with her."   
"Floki..." You chided, but you couldn't keep the amusement out if your voice.   
You weren't normally this bitchy towards other women but there was this inherent anger inside you whenever you saw her because she had wormed her way into Ivar's head somehow, and you didn't know how she'd done it, especially in such a short time.   
"How is Mikkel and little Enar? I thought you would have brought them."   
"They are both currently sleeping but please come over later to see them. I know full well they'd love to see their Uncle Floki."   
"Hopefully he won't be their favourite Uncle, that title goes to me."   
"Hvitserk!" You grinned, hugging him too and giving him a small peck on the cheek.   
"You look stunning tonight." Hvitserk responded, pulling you into another hug, his hand lingering on your waist, he was doing it to just wind up Ivar.   
"I have lost my figure thanks to my darling children but I try my best."   
"Try your best? You'll be fighting the men off tonight. Who did you come with?"   
"Kol." You replied, suddenly realising that you'd left him. You turned, seeing him talking to two of your brother's, drinking from his horn.   
You laughed at Hvitserk's look and swatted him across the shoulder.   
"He's sweet, treats me like a princess."   
"He treats you better than my brother then?"   
"On occasion." You laughed, watching Hvitserk take a sip of his drink. Again, you wished it had been him to take your heart, this banter and easiness between you was refreshing.  
"Have you fucked him yet?"   
Ivar's voice came from behind you, his breath ghosting your cheek. You turned to face him.   
"Ivar."   
"Is that the greeting I get?"   
"Oh wonderous Ivar, how great it is to see you." You purred, opening your arms and giving an over exaggerated bow. Hvitserk laughed and Floki choked on his drink, when you came back up, you noticed Ivar had an amused expression on his face.   
"How are my sons?"   
"Asleep and enjoying the comfort of their grandparents."   
"So, are you fucking Kol?"   
"Not that it's any of your business but no... I was thinking that maybe tonight would be a good night. With him going off raiding and all..."   
Ivar growled and you turned your back on him. You wouldn't sleep with Kol, he just didn't make you feel that way but as long as Ivar thought you were thinking about it.   
"Are you coming with us?" Floki asked, breaking the tension.   
"I was thinking about it. It would be great to get back in it again."   
"And who would look after our sons?"   
"I think you mean my son's Ivar. And my family would look after them."   
"You could always bring him here, they'd be safe..."   
"I'm not letting that fucking whore anywhere near my children. She's nothing to do with them. Now excuse me, I have to go talk to Kol. Floki, Hvitserk, come and see Mikkel and Enar later."   
You walked off, leaving Ivar standing there and went to Kol, your hand on his back. You glanced over at Freydis, giving her a look before turning back to Kol.   
The night got boring after a while and there was only so much you could do without making a show of yourself and possibly making Kol hate you. You liked him, you did but whether that could turn into something else, you didn't know. You gave him a kiss when he bent down for one, let his hand wander to your ass so he could slap it and you let him nuzzle your neck but it wasn't his arms you wanted. You need to get Ivar out of your goddamn head!   
You had glanced over to where they sat, her fingers dancing up and down his arm, the coy looks he gave her, the way he whispered in her ear. You were going to be sick. Floki watched you the entire time, seeing your heart break more and more as you watched them and he felt for you, felt for your broken heart because he knew what it felt like.   
When Kol bent down to kiss you again you took it as a sign, Ivar was happy with her and you, you needed to be happy too, for Mikkel and Enar's sake, for your own sake. So you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in deeper for a kiss. His hands grasped your waist, fitting his body against yours. Some of the men cheered, banging their cups down on the table.   
Ivar looked up, pure rage in his eyes as he saw you and when you pulled away, he saw the passion in your eyes.   
Before Kol could say something to you, the doors opened and in walked Runa, looking for you. When she came over to you, you were pleased to see her and she gave you a small apologetic smile that it had taken so long.   
"Enar is fussing for his mother." She told you, glancing quickly at Ivar. He sat forward in his seat, eyes frowning. You turned to Kol.   
"I must go, my son needs me."   
"Can I come by later?" He whispered in your ear and you shivered with arousal.   
"Maybe another night..." You supplied.   
"I'll hold you to that..." He said smiling.   
"She's a fucking cock tease. Slap her across the face and show her she can't get away with that." Someone behind you said.   
"Excuse me?" You said, voice raised in annoyance.   
"You heard me. Nothing but a cock tease. Here, this is how you treat someone like that..."   
The man grabbed the front of your dress, hand pawing at your dress to get underneath. Kol had rage in eyes, your brothers dropped their cups, standing to attention, Floki was setting his cup down slowly, eyes on you. Hvitserk was about ready to cut him and Ivar... The rage in his eyes meant someone would be dying tonight. They knew however you were more than capable to handle this.   
You laughed at him, kicking him in-between the legs and then bringing him forward by clasping his tunic. You headbutted him, the pain lancing through your temples was enough to make your head spin but you stood your ground, despite the fact you wanted to fall down.   
"Go fuck yourself." You growled, grabbing your cloak from where you'd hung it and walking out of the room. As soon as the doors shut, you heard laughter and footsteps following you. Floki grabbed your arm before you fell, holding you up so you could walk back.   
"My warrior Queen, you do like to get into fights."   
"Fucking fuck that hurts."   
"He'll have more than a headache tomorrow, your brother's are going to beat the shit out of him."   
You walked in silence, every step you took made your head pound. Back at the hut, Floki put you down on the bed as you closed your eyes, trying to stop the candlelight from making your head worse.   
"First headbutt I take it?" Your mother asked, clicking her tongue when she saw you. "Put this on your head and change it when it gets dry. Floki, would you like to see Enar?"   
Your mother didn't like to dwell on injuries but you did as you were told, putting the wet rag on your forehead before drifting off to sleep.   
You didn't know who was changing the cloth on your head that night but you swore that when you did open your eyes briefly, it was a pair of bright blue ones that looked back at you.


	7. Fated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: You are happily married to Ivar. Or so you thought. On a raid he brings back a new woman; Freydis. He hopes he'll have the best of both worlds but he doesn't count on you. You have a choice to make; stay with him and share him or divorce him and start a new life. Whatever route you take, the path will always lead to Ivar. You two are fated after all...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Violence- Because they are going raiding (and yeah I don't go into detail about how far they go raiding or where they go because the chapter would have been super long!)  
> Also Smut!

You couldn't say goodbye to Mikkel and Enar enough. Today was the day you were going with Ivar and his crew raiding and, even though you were going to miss them, you wanted to go raiding. Were itching for it. You'd only be gone a month at the most and Floki had told you that if you wanted to go back early, you could.   
You noticed Kol walking toward another boat and you hoped he'd have been coming on the one Ivar had put you on.   
"Kol!"   
"Y/N. How's your head?" He laughed.  
"Better thank you."   
"I just want to say something. I know that you still have feelings for Ivar but I want you to know that there are others out there who would be more than happy to be with you."  
"Kol..."  
"That's all I wanted to say."  
"I was going to say - there's something I need to do when the raid is over and I hope, that when we get back, we could start fresh. I need to... Purge him from my system."  
"Ah... I get you. I've done that before myself. Once we're back, we'll see what happens." He smiled at you and you blushed a little.  
"Good. Great. I, uh should say goodbye to my boys."   
Kol nodded and you walked back to where the boys were, looking at where Ivar stood with Freydis. Your heart still hurt from the looks he gave his new wife, from the way she was doting on him now and the way he smiled at her. She wanted to go raiding too but Ivar had told her to stay at home and you had this sick sense that she was pregnant.   
If that was the case then what would happen with Mikkel and Enar? Would Ivar not want him now that he had a new one on the way?   
"Are you ready to go raid and kill?" Hvitserk's voice floated from behind you, draping an arm over your shoulder.   
"I was born to do that." You grinned at him.   
He picked up Enar, Mikkel busy watching everything Floki did, and he started cooing over him and giving his little cheek a kiss goodbye. Enar was growing up fast, at nearly five months old he had a feeling resemblance more and more each day to Ivar; his eyes blue, hair dark. He was crawling every where too, keeping you, your sisters and parents constantly on their toes. Gods knows what he'd be up to when he could walk. Mikkel was nearing four, also with the exact same resemblance as Ivar. As just like Ivar, his cockiness was growing each day.  
You had on your shieldmaiden outfit; trousers, boots, a deep red tunic and a chainmail vest. Yours was thinner than the men's, all the shieldmaiden's had thinner chainmail. You didn't tend to like wearing it much but on this occasion, it added to ferociousness. A thick belt was around your waist, sword hanging from the side, your shields were already packed onto the boat. Black eyes makeup rimmed your eyes and your hair was in intricate plaits and twists, a strap of leather holding the rest of your hair up. Erica, Thora and Runa were coming with you too, Mikkel and Enar staying with your parents depsite Ivar trying to get them to stay at the hall with Freydis but there was no way you were letting them stay there.   
"Little Enar, one day you will come raiding with us and everyone will tell stories of your prowess on the battlefield." Floki said, Mikkel hanging from his shoulders. He lifted Enar out of Hvitserk's arms. The little boy squealed at being so high up in the air, his little legs kicking out in delight. Your little boy had fallen quickly in love with Floki as soon as he met him.   
"Enar is flying!" Mikkel shouted, laughter in his voice. He'd fallen in love with Floki too.  
"You'll grow into strong young men and then Floki will take you raiding in one of his boats!"   
"Yes!" Mikkel shouted, strangling Floki. You reached up to take him off, showering his face in kisses.  
"No! No kisses!" Mikkel squealed as he ran from you and to his grandfather.  
Floki handed Enar back to you, so you could give him a few more kisses. Ivar made his way over, Freydis at his side and you stiffened at her voice.   
"They are delightful, very happy."   
"Thank you. Luckily they don't take after their father personality wise." Your father told her, knowing that you wouldn't speak. He just had to get that little dig in - Ivar wasn't exactly the most delightful person to be around.   
"I'd be happy to take them while you are all off raiding. They'd be safe in the hall with me and the guards left behind."   
"That's not necessary. My parents are perfectly capable of looking after them, more so than you. They are due a nap so excuse them."   
You kissed both of their heads before shooing your father back into the house, your anger and pettiness at Freydis being there meant you hadn't given Ivar a chance to day goodbye to them. He frowned over at you but you ignored him, walking over to your mother and giving her a brief hug.   
"Look after Thora and Runa." She told you.   
"Nothing will happen to them. Look after Mikkel and Enar" You crowed back and your mother rolled her eyes.   
"Excuse me while I go and say goodbye to my children." Ivar said, glaring daggers at you before he walked away after your father.  
"May the gods bless you." Freydis told you and you looked at her, not quite trusting the smiling petite woman before you.   
"Thank you."   
"I meant what I said, Mikkel and Enar will be safe in the hall. I am their step mother after all."   
"I don't want you near my children. You took my husband, what's to stop you doing the same to my sons?"   
"I suppose I deserve that. It's not my fault however that the Gods made sure Ivar got bored of you and decided he wanted something more fun."   
"Let him have his fun. He'll do the same to you too. You should know that no one wants you as their Queen."   
"And I suppose they want you?" She snapped, the mask of perfection slipping from her face.   
"I've done that and I earned their respect, I still have it. You have a long way to go."   
"Jealousy is an ugly colour Y/N."  
"You know what isn't an ugly colour? Red. It is the colour of blood after all..."  
"Are you threatening the Queen?"   
"Trust me Freydis, if I was threatening you, you'd know about it." You whispered in her ear.  
"He won't thank you."  
"You know what? Raiding always made Ivar and I extremely aroused. I wonder what could happen on this one?"  
"The Gods wouldn't allow it." She seethed.   
"The Gods might not be looking very hard. Take care of yourself Freydis, it can get lonely while you wait for your husband to get back. Then again, maybe he won't miss you too much." You smirked at her, walking past her, dismissing her like a Queen dismisses a thrall and you went to the boat, Hvitserk smiling behind you.   
"Apparently she doesn't satisfy Ivar in the bedroom anymore."   
"Then he can get a new slave on this raid." You said, looking to where she stood.  
Ivar kissed her on the cheek but there wasn't much to it, no passion in it. It was his own fault, thinking he could have a Queen and a slave to share his bed. He should have known that you'd walk away from him.   
The boats were filling up, and you stood near Hvitserk and Floki, waiting for Ivar to get on the boat. You shouted instructions to your shieldmaiden's, keeping an eye on what your sisters were doing but they followed orders well. On the boat, Ivar looked at you, a burning in his eyes. What was he angry about now?   
The journey took forever and you forgot just how much being at sea wore at you, tempers flared, fights broke out and there was definitely sexual tension between the men and women. It had been too long since you'd felt a man's touch and you did flirt with Hvitserk quite a bit; a few touches here and there, lingering gazes. A few times when you spoke to him, you made sure your lips were near his skin or his was against yours. You both knew it would wind Ivar up too and Hvitserk enjoyed winding him up. But nothing happened between you except for that, you knew where Hvitserk's arousal was solely aimed at - the lingering gaze on Erica gave that away.  
You did notice Ivar's gaze on you, ever since you'd got on the boat, he'd been looking at you and you couldn't take it anymore. You walked over to where he stood, his knuckles white on his crutches.   
"Why? Why are you staring at me?" You hissed.   
"Because you look fucking delicious that's why." He said back, his voice low and rough and full of sex. The last time you'd been on a boat with him, it had been hard to keep your hands off each other but as soon as you landed, he'd pulled you aside and fucked you on the beach while the others went off to see where you were. He said something similar to that last time too.   
"Ivar. No." You started, trying to get him to stop but you wanted him just as much. You couldn't do this, you wouldn't.   
"Do you have any idea how hard it is to not fuck you right here?"   
Your stomach fluttered, your heart beating faster. You wanted it too, desperately. It had been too long since you'd felt a man and Ivar... He certainly knew how to make you scream.   
"Stop." You whispered hoarsely.   
"I need you." He groaned.  
"You should have thought about that before you took another woman to your bed. Or better yet, fucked her after you fucked me."   
His eyes blazed and you knew what that meant, he was angry and aroused and that usually meant sex would be hard and fast and unrelentless.   
And you needed it.   
"It's not going to happen."   
"It'll happen." He replied cockily, a smirk on his face.   
You growled at him in frustration about to say something, when one of the men alerted you to land. You all turned to see where he was looking and there in plain sight was hills coming into focus. You didn't know where you were exactly but Ivar motioned for the boats to turn, to conceal themselves under the rock cliffs.   
When you unloaded, you noticed Ivar was still watching you but you turned away, motioning to your shieldmaiden's instead, giving them orders and telling them where to go.   
The place you'd landed at was beautiful, picturesque and the thought of destroying it pulled a little at your heart. As soon as the villagers saw you all, they started to scream, running to get weapons and the men. Before they had a chance to attack, you'd already started raiding their huts, pulling out people, breaking furniture and knocking things over. A battle cry sounded behind you and you turned to see the men had grabbed weapons and were advancing towards you. You shouted at your shieldmaiden's to form a wall, Ivar doing the same for his men. Floki let out a laugh and you smiled at his craziness.   
"You think you can take us." He shouted.   
The men held firm however, not showing fear and that spurred you all on. The men advanced on you, attacking wildly and you broke the shield wall, swinging your swords around in made frenzies. Thora had an axe which she was busy swinging around, Runa deciding that a sword was better, stabbing anything that got in her way. You kicked out a mans legs from underneath him, slicing your sword across his neck, the blood spurting in your face. You grabbed your axe, throwing it at on oncoming man, hitting him straight in the centre of his face. You picked it up as you walked past, holding your shield up to your face before you were hit by an arrow. You caught a man in the neck by the edge of your shield and he fell, Thora coming up behind you to finish him off. You saw Hvitserk, smiling with blood on his face, Floki hitting anything that got in his way. Ivar was sat on a small wall, shooting with his arrows, his arm muscles straining in his tunic with each pull of the bowstring. He got up, using his crutch to settle himself before he pulled out is axe and started to swing it at men who can his way. A few of his men surrounded him in case he got overwhelmed by the men.   
You lashed out with your sword, taking one of the men out who got too close to you.   
Blood was everywhere, bosiesylay scattered and you suddenly realised that there was no one left to fight. You'd slaughtered everyone. Those who were still alive, you took captive, a few of your shieldmaiden's and guards looking after them while you raided the rest of the huts looking for treasure. You found a lot of gold and jewels, piling them into trunks and once you'd milked everything dry, they were loaded onto the boats.   
"Where is this place?" You asked Erica when she sat down beside you.   
"No one can understand what they are saying but who cares right. We got what we wanted."   
"Anyone making food?"   
"I think Thora has found some stuff. Ivar has told everyone to wash, eat and rest before we go back."   
You nodded, going over to where the barrels of water were, splashing it on your face to get rid of the blood. When you stood up, Ivar was in front of you and lust coursed through your body at the sight of him. He was bloody and dirty and gods dammit you just wanted to ride him.   
"Clean me?" He asked, head tilted to the side as he looked at you. You nodded, finding a bucket and clean cloth, telling him to sit down. You were in an empty hut and, without thinking, you locked the door behind you both.   
You swiped the wet cloth over his face until the blood and dirt on his face was clean, his hands were next and you knew you'd have to take off his shirt in order to clean the rest of him. You undid his jacket and armour, pulling off his tunic before you swiped the cloth over his skin. The air was thick with sexual tension, and when you came to wipe the cloth over his chest, he grabbed your hips, pulling you down so you straddled him and you let out a hiss as you felt him, his erection pressing against you.   
"Ivar..." You whispered.   
"No talking, no denying it. I want you and I know you want me."   
His hands were undoing your belt, fingers grazing your skin and you let out a moan and Ivar laughed, knowing he had you. You pulled off your chainmail and tunic, your breasts free. He kissed up the centre of your chest, heading for your neck, nipping at your chin and you kissed him, hands gripping his hair tight as your tongues fought against each other. His hand fisted in your hair, holding you tight to you as he devoured your mouth. He bit your bottom lip before flipping you over so you were on you back, Ivar hovering over you. You pulled at his trousers ready to have him there and then until you realised you wanted to see him all. You pushed him back, undoing the braces on his legs despite him protesting. Once free you pulled his trousers off before standing up and taking off your own. You straddled him, his eyes blazing as he saw your naked body. You had stretch marks from carrying the boys but that didn't bother him. He traced the marks at your side before flipping you over again. He kissed you before slowly lowering his body down until his head rested between your legs. He swiped his tongue against your folds and you nearly flew off the bed at his touch. His lips and tongue devoured you and you gripped his hair as your hips circled, desperate to get him closer. You let out a scream, knowing you were near but he pulled away before you could come and you growled at him.   
"Who are you Y/N?"   
"Ivar..."   
"Who are you?"   
"A free woman." You snarled. If he wasn't going to bring you pleasure, you'd go find someone who would. But he laughed, crawling his way back up your body, nudging your entrance with his erection.   
"You're mine, you'll always be mine. No man will ever bring you as much pleasure as I do."   
"If you come inside me, I will fucking kill you. Do you hear me?"   
But he thrust into you and you moaned cutting off your reply. He kissed you, your legs wrapping around his waist, bringing him closer in. Your hips moved as he pulled in and out, flesh slapping together as he fucked you fast and hard. You pushed at his shoulders, Ivar falling onto his back and you rode him, nails digging into his chest as the pleasure mounted. He sat up, arms around your waist holding you tight as you looked at each other, his blue eyes blazing with passion. You scratched at his back and he bit your shoulder as you shouted out as he hit your sweet spot over and over.   
He let out a grunt, his moans getting louder and you gripped each other tight as you both came together. Ivar biting your shoulder while your nails dug into his back. He spilled inside of you and aftershocks travelled through your body as you both started to come down from your high. You brought his face to yours and you kissed him deeply.   
"I'm not yours Ivar. I did this to get back at that little whore of yours.."   
"What?" He asked.  
"This isn't happening again Ivar, I won't let it. You have a wife. I didn't want to share you, I didn't want to be second best. But I did want her to know what it feels like to have the man you love fuck someone else."   
You climbed off his lap, pulling on your trousers and tunic. He looked at you like you'd gone mad.   
"I got what I wanted Ivar. Now I'm leaving. Maybe I'll go see if Hvitserk wants me to join him and Erica..."   
He growled in anger add you blew him a patronising kiss as you went to the door.  
"You'll come back to me. You always will, the fates decree it."   
You didn't say anything as you walked out but your heart beat a little louder in your chest. Fated... You and Ivar weren't Fated and your path wouldn't be leading back to him.


	8. Fated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: You are happily married to Ivar. Or so you thought. On a raid he brings back a new woman; Freydis. He hopes he'll have the best of both worlds but he doesn't count on you. You have a choice to make; stay with him and share him or divorce him and start a new life. Whatever route you take, the path will always lead to Ivar. You two are fated after all...

Nausea stirred in your stomach and you felt like complete death.  
"Y/N? Are you not well?" Runa asked.   
"She's got the sickness. Thankfully it's not pregnancy related this time."   
You groaned at your mother and tried to turn over in your bed. She only had to take one look at you when you returned from the raid to know what had happened. After you'd slept with Ivar, you did go and see Hvitserk and that lead to... Well, he hadn't come inside you, he'd listened to you at least.  
He was different to Ivar; attentive, listened to you and fuck was his mouth a delicious surprise when he'd gone down on you. You flushed just thinking about it.  
You were sore when you got to the boat, so stretched and Hvitserk had laughed at you so you gave him the finger. Although you noticed Erica had looked thoroughly fucked and you hoped she wouldn't hate you for knowing what you'd done with Hvitserk. You'd been back for two months and you'd not really seen much of either of them. Hopefully Hvitserk was serious about her. Thora and Runa had been kept under lock and key that night via the protectiveness of our brothers, Ander making sure after each conquest that they were both still asleep, still safe. They were only fifteen, but they were women as they had had their moon blood but still, they were too young to be doing that. If our brothers had their way, I wouldn't be doing it either.   
"I'm okay. Just a little nausea."  
"I'll fetch you some water." Runa said and you grumbled a thank you before turning over in bed.  
You decided to not go to the hall today, instead choosing to stay in your hut and help your parents in the garden and house but gossip travelled down to you, Ottar coming down not long after you'd heard the news floating around.   
"I know. She's pregnant." Your heart broke at hearing it and your mother looked about ready to kill someone.   
Ivar came down later to see Mikkel and Enar, for the first time since coming back from the raid, his eyes not quite looking at you. He didn't look exactly happy about his news and his day was going to get a lot worse when you told him yours. You noticed he had a faint bruise around his eye and you wondered briefly where he'd gotten it from.   
He sat down on the floor next to Enar, Mikkel had gone off with Kol to the market instead of staying to see his father.   
"Where's Mikkel?"  
"He went with Kol to the market. He heard you were coming and he decided to go instead of staying."  
"Why?" The pain was clear in Ivar's voice at that one word.   
"How would I know? Mikkel is older in his ways than he should be. He makes his own decisions."  
"You mean he's made this decision based on what he hears about me?" Ivar said, hands clenched into fists.  
"What my family say to him, I have no control over. But from me, he gets no hate. I do know that he doesn't like Freydis and he made that decision on his own."  
Ivar swallowed ignoring what you said and watching intently as his son chatted away at him, plucking vegetables from your basket to show him.   
"What's this one?" Ivar asked.   
"Carrot!" Enar chuckled, pleased that he'd got it right. He was saying little words here and there, it was mostly still gibberish but he managed the words 'ma' 'Ru-Ru' 'Tho' and 'granan' grandfather and nanna combined.   
"Da, Da look!" Enar crowed and you saw Ivar's eyes swell with pride and another emotion at his son calling his name. Your heart swelled a little too and you looked to where he was pointing, a little yellow flower blowing in the wind.   
"Why don't you go pick it and give it to your mother?"   
Enar smiled, doing what his father said and toddled over to you, grin on his chubby little face as he handed it to you.   
"Thank you my little Enar." And you tickled him, the little boy giggling in delight before he saw Halvor and ran over to him. Halvor picked him up, spinning him so he sat atop his shoulders and carried on into the house.   
Ivar awkwardly got to his feet, using his upper body strength to set himself properly, leaning on his crutch.   
"You should know something..."   
"She's pregnant I know. You must be over the moon."   
He didn't say anything, just looked at you, a frown on his face.   
"I wanted to tell you myself."   
"It doesn't matter Ivar."   
"Y/N, I'll never neglect Mikkel and Enar. Mikkel is my first born, my son, he'll never be second place. And Enar is included in that, he's my son too."   
So he could say that about your son's but not about you? Fine.   
"Her child will be your legitimate heir. Not my boys." You emphasised the word my but he chose to ignore that too.   
"You think I care about that?" He shouted, making his way over to you.   
"Ivar, you have to start taking it seriously. You have another wife, whose pregnant. Mikkel and Enar won't be anything to you now, they'll be forgotten, she'll make sure of that."   
"They'll never be forgotten." He growled.   
"Yes, they will."  
"If you hadn't of walked away..." He began and you lost it. Turning to him, you started shouting.  
"How many times do I have to say it Ivar? I wasn't going to share you, I didn't want to lie in bed at night I wonder whether you were coming to my bed or staying with her. When you walked off the boat with her, the way she looked at you... The way you look at her... You love her far more than you ever did me."   
He growled at you angrily and let out a frustrated shout, finding nothing to hit or beat up.   
"She needs you, she's with child. She's your wife now. So please, just stop with all of your caring."   
Angry tears streamed down your face, blurring your vision of him. He walked towards you, pulling you to him, holding you with one arm. You tried to push him at but that bastard had a firm grip on you.   
"You're so deep in my heart that it hurts to breathe sometimes Ivar. It breaks every time I see you with her and now it's just gone because you're having a child with her. Why did you bring her back? What is it with her that made you betray me?" You shouted, hitting his arms and chest when you pulled away. Tears were still streaming but lashing out at him, now that was satisfying.   
"I became enamoured with her, I can't deny that I wanted her. I've never wanted anyone the way that I want you. I needed to see... Needed to know why." He replied, the most you'd ever gotten out of him in regards to feelings.   
"And did you find out? Was it worth it?" You asked, venom in your voice.   
"It was fate. The seer told me when I got back that there would be two women in my life, just like my father. Freydis was apart of that fate, I saved her, freed her and she rewarded me. You never needed saving, you are so strong."   
"That's it?" You whispered, not quite believing him. "You brought her back because she needed saving? And what? You wanted to be a better man than you were with me? A damsel in distress you could swoop in and save? You threw away everything we had for her?! My god I should have trusted my instincts and married Ubbe like my mother begged me too!"   
"No. I would never have let you marry Ubbe." He snarled. "I like being needed, that much is true but she drew me in. Talked of gods and destiny and I saw something there."   
"You never answered my other question." You said, completely ignoring what he'd just revealed to you.   
"Was it worth it? At first I thought I would have the best of both worlds; a wife and a lover. But when you left... When you divorced me... I realised that I was foolish because it wasn't worth it. Not one bit."   
You wiped your eyes, standing there, not quite knowing what to do.   
"What will you do?" He whispered, throat quite hoarse as he got the words out.   
"Marry Kol probably." You whispered.   
He nodded softly before bringing his lips to yours in a kiss and you moved away, his lips hitting your cheek instead. He stayed there for a while, his breath heavy on your skin before he turned and walked away without another glance.   
You felt a tap on your shoulder and you turned to see Kol stood behind you, a small smile on his face as he saw you. Mikkel running off to where your brother was stood talking to your father. You walked to him, hugging him tightly. You felt safe with him, loved in a way that was different when you with Ivar. The boys liked having him too.   
Enar roared at him and Kol bent down to pick him up but the little terror that was your son ran away, hiding behind a tree.   
"Have fun for the next five hours." You told Kol, laughing and slapping him on the chest as you walked away.   
He stopped you as you went by, pulling you back and giving you a kiss.  
"What was that for?" You asked a little breathlessly  
"To give you something to think about after all that just happened."  
"It's worked. Because I'm thinking about all the other places those lips could kiss." You grinned at him, this time walking away, noticing the little blush on his cheeks.   
Oh a Viking who got embarrassed easily was going to be fun. 

IVAR POV 

His heart was breaking. He'd made such a stupid mistake. One he instantly regretted the moment he granted Y/N her divorce. Because without her, who was he? Without her, life was hard.   
Why had he become so enamoured with Freydis? What was it about her that made him take her as a lover. Y/N was never afraid of him, she never sneered at his disability, instead she fought anyone who mocked him. Most women were afraid of him and then came Freydis. Another woman who was never afraid of him and he just... Took it.   
She was good in bed, he wouldn't deny that but she didn't rile him up as much as Y/N did. With you, he wanted to take you at every opportunity, whether appropriate or not. But with Freydis, it was just confined to the bedroom and even that was sorely lacking now. Ever since the raid, since she revenge fucked you, he'd not be able to get you out of his mind. He knew why you'd fine it but fuck it was the best feeling. His nightly sessions with Freydis now hardly lasted long and he got bored. Sometimes finding that he couldn't get excited about her.   
He needed to sort his head out, needed someone to shake him and tell him what to do.   
The seer had told him that there would be two women, that much was true, she was fated for him. But what he didn't mention, was that the seer had told him that one of the women would be an infatuation that would slowly disintegrate and the other woman is the love of his life, the one he shouldn't let go of.   
He'd stupidly just realised who was who. And now he'd lost Y/N before he'd even got a chance to tell her how he felt.   
He wiped away tears, taking a deep intake of breath before stepping into the hall. The mask of heartless Ivar easily slipping into place.


	9. Fated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: You are happily married to Ivar. Or so you thought. On a raid he brings back a new woman; Freydis. He hopes he'll have the best of both worlds but he doesn't count on you. You have a choice to make; stay with him and share him or divorce him and start a new life. Whatever route you take, the path will always lead to Ivar. You two are fated after all...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut :)

"Do you know that Kol asked me something earlier?" Your mother asked.   
"What did he ask?"   
"That he's been thinking about taking a wife soon..."   
"Did he say who?" You asked nonchalantly.  
"You are dumb sometimes." Your mother said, clicking her teeth. You just smiled at her.   
"So, did he say when he'd ask?"  
"Today. The date has already been set too."  
"How did you know I'd say yes?" You asked.   
"The wedding is set for the end of this week."   
"Mother!" You laughed in disbelief.  
The door knocked before opening and you saw Kol walk in. Mikkel ran to him and he picked him up, your son had quickly formed an attachment to him. Enar was a little shy at times but that was because of Ivar. He didn't understand why he had two father's.  
"Can... Can I talk to you Y/N?"  
"No need, I've already told her the wedding is set for next week." Your mother said and you shook your head.  
"Let's go outside."   
You handed Enar to Runa and you grabbed Kol's hand, taking him out of the house. You stood next to him, letting the breeze wash over you.  
"Is there any need to ask seeing as your mother has already told you?"  
"Yes. I want to hear it." You laughed.  
"It's nothing grand. Just four words really..."  
"Kol..."  
"Okay. Y/N, will you marry me? Okay that sounded boring. Would you be my wife? That sounds better. Definitely. You don't have to however..."  
"Kol?"  
"Yes."  
"I will be your wife."  
The smile he gave you was huge and you grinned back. You felt like a young woman again. Kol made your heart beat and you needed him. He'd make a brilliant husband.   
You spent a bit of time together before he had to get back and you decided to go for a walk. You walked back to the house, motioning for Enar's hand and he happily toddled to you, grabbing hold. Mikkel walked with you, taking Enar's other hand as you walked out of the hut.   
You decided to go to the seer. His hut wasn't far and he usually always sensed when you were on your way. The door to his hut was open and you entered. His blind eyes turned to you, a grim twisted smile on his face. He held out his hand and you shut the door before going over and licking his hand.   
"What is it you want to know?"   
"I accepted a marriage proposal from Kol. What will my days be like married to him?"   
"Ah, Kol. It will be a happy marriage. You'll grow further together, not in soul crushing love but mutual friendship, a different kind of love."  
"Will there be children?"  
"You will have a child with Kol. And more after him."  
"After him? What's going to happen?" But the Seer just smiled cryptically and held his hand out to you. You rolled your eyes and licked his have before walking out with your boys. Enar started asking you so many questions but you couldn't answer.   
"Can we go and see Uncle Floki?" Mikkel asked you and you nodded. Floki is who you needed. He spoke to the Gods, he'd help more than the seer had.   
You found him, down by the beach. He looked thinner than last time, more mad, older. But when he saw you, he gave you a huge smile before realising that this wasn't an ordinary visit.   
"Y/N?"   
"I'm to marry Kol."   
You said, a few tears falling and Floki came to you, not quite sure what to do but he gave you a hug.   
"No Floki, these are happy tears."   
"Oh. Then I'm not quite sure what to do now."   
You laughed but he continued to hug you while Mikkel and Enar watched, taking in your sadness.   
"Ivar made my mother cry." Mikkel said, his hands in fists by his side.  
"These are happy tears Mikkel. I promise you that. Nothing to do with your father."   
"I don't like him anymore."  
"He's your father Mikkel. You shouldn't say that." You sniffed.   
"It's true. I hate him and I hate Freydis. They should both just disappear."   
Your heart broke. Mikkel never used to hate his father and now... He barely spoke of him, choosing to spend his time with your brothers or his grandfather or Kol. Hvitserk was his next favourite to do things with and so was Floki when he was here... He'd replaced Ivar with others and you couldn't blame him for that - Ivar wasn't around them anymore. You were doing this alone.   
"My little warrior in the making, Mikkel do you want to take your brother and show him the boats?" Floki asked him, Mikkel grinning before turning serious at the task in hand. Floki helped them onto the boat, Mikkel taking the role of "watchman" while Floki settled Enar down and told him the places he shouldn't touch in case he hurt himself. He spoke to him for a while, pointing things out before he came back. He went to his hut first before coming out with two tankards. You took a deep gulp, not caring what was in it.   
"You said yes?"   
"I did. The wedding is next week."   
"Have you told Ivar?"   
"Why should I? Besides I'm not allowed near the hall and he can't come visit me. Besides, this has nothing to do with him anymore. He has a new family, a new queen. They are his priority."   
Freydis had put her authority into place. You couldn't come to the hall and Ivar wasn't allowed to see his children. Not now she'd given birth.   
"You know he's miserable in there. Going stir crazy." Floki told you, eyeing you.  
"I can imagine. But it's of his own making." You laughed. Ivar hated to be constrained, unless it was during one of your more kinkier sex sessions, but you could just see him being temperamental, moody, snappy. Everyone would walk on eggshells.   
"If you could go back, would you have left him?"   
You thought about it, thought about how miserable life would have been but you'd have had him, which is more than you had now.   
"My body, my heart aches for him, my soul aches for him but it was never in my nature to share him. I couldn't have stayed knowing he'd be going between the pair of us. Of I'd stayed, I wouldn't have found a happiness, an easiness with Kol."  
"He regrets it, bringing her back, becoming so obsessed."   
"He told you that?" You asked, genuine interest.   
"Not in so many words, but I see him looking at her in the chair that was yours, wishing it was you, the way his eyes hunger for you when he catches a glimpse of you, the way he looks at Freydis, full of regret and anger. You can tell a lot by a look."   
"He said it was fated to have two women..."   
"The Gods work in mysterious ways Y/N, you know that. Perhaps this was the will of Loki, it has his trickster scent all over it. Freydis talks of gods and the destiny they set for her and Ivar lapped it up. He's always loved talked of Gods, even as a child. He became obsessed with the way she spoke about them, about her and him, about the fate they had together. Ivar said he'd only ever been with you but he wanted to know what it was like with others, was it different? Freydis whispered in his ear, told him it was his fate, that he'd walk, that he'd see life differently if you just let go. And he did. He just never thought he'd lose you in the process."   
"That's different to what he told me." You said.   
"Ivar is ashamed of how he acted. He's a Viking, a fighter, a maniac at times but the only difference between him and others, is that he's loyal. And he broke his loyalness to you."   
"He's only just realised that now?" You snorted and you heard Mikkel from the boat that Enar wanted you. Floki got up, pulling them out the boat and putting them down by you, Enar cuddling to your side. Mikkel sat to your other side, his serious little face looking tired and too wise for his years. He was growing so fast.  
"Did you see the Seer?"   
"He said it'll be happy and that we'll grow together, a different kind of love. But we won't last long. Do you know why?"   
"That I cannot see. The Gods only give me certain things to know."   
"If it's a short-lived marriage, I'm guessing one of us will die. A raid gone wrong perhaps? If it is, by chance, that I die. Would you take the boys? Mikkel already idolises you and dreams of sailing to different places and I don't trust Freydis around them. I know it would hurt Ivar but I'd want them to see things, to know of the gods, to be free."   
"I shall do that. But I won't need to."   
You nodded and you both sat in silence for a while, Enar fast asleep, while you looked out at the mountains, the sea. This place really was beautiful.   
"Will you tell Ivar for me? Just to piss him off a little more?"   
"I'll tell him."   
"Can I stay with Uncle Floki for a little while?" Mikkel asked and you put an arm around him, kissing his head.  
"Don't be too long. Supper will be ready soon."  
"Come my little Mikkel. What story have I not told you of your grandfather Ragnar?"  
You laughed a little, watching as Mikkel followed him back onto the boat. You slightly nudged Enar awake, motioning for him to follow you back home.   
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   
The wedding day was here and you stood in your room, hands smoothing out the cream dress your mother had found for you. It wasn't going to be a great wedding, just something quick, secluded. You'd heard from your brother Ander, that Ivar had gone mental when he heard the news, smashing things, even killing a few men because he needed to let out his anger. He said Freydis looked terrified when she saw him, like he was a monster. That side of Ivar never bothered you, in fact you relished in it. You were just as blood hungry as he was sometimes.   
Ander said that Ivar was in a state of madness right now, everyone was treading very carefully around him. What he'd do, no one knew.   
You'd smiled to yourself when you heard it because now, now he finally got what it was like to hurt.   
Your mother beamed when she saw you and you mustered up a small smile. You had spoken to Kol a few times before this day, mainly that you couldn't wait to get him in bed. Which was true. It had been so long and Kol was patient, waiting for you to heal from Ivar first. He was such a sweetheart.   
You walked to where Kol stood in the forest, a volva stood there ready to bless the marriage. Kol was smiling and you did have one too, you felt fresh, like it was a new start. When she announced you were married. You ran so Kol would have to have to catch you and he caught you easily, giving you a small kiss.  
When the wedding was over, you went back to your now parents house to eat and you are as much as you could, laughing and joking with everyone until they all eventually took the celebrations elsewhere. You knew where they were going.  
Thora and Runa had taken Mikkel and Enar for the night so you were free to drink and celebrate with your husband.   
Eventually Kol got a little, amorous and honestly, it turned you on. Probably not as much as Ivar but looking at him, you could see he was going to be great in bed.   
It was awkward at first but after a few tender kisses placed on your neck, your jaw, fingers teasing you... You were more than ready.   
Once you were fully naked and so ready he teased you some more, mouth teasing you this time and shit, it was too good. Better then Hvitserk was actually. Not that you'd tell him that. Once you had finally had enough of begging him, Kol entered you, going deep, oh so deep. He fucked you thoroughly, hitting your sweet spot over and over, your shouts seeming to bounce off the walls. By the time you'd both finally came, bodies covered in sweat, you let out a laugh and Kol laughed with you, both of you suddenly nervous again.   
You spent most of the night finding the places and spots that turned you both on, both of you extremely vocal in your escapades.   
If you hadn't of been so loud however, you'd have heard Ivar's crutches echoing away from the hut....


	10. Fated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: You are happily married to Ivar. Or so you thought. On a raid he brings back a new woman; Freydis. He hopes he'll have the best of both worlds but he doesn't count on you. You have a choice to make; stay with him and share him or divorce him and start a new life. Whatever route you take, the path will always lead to Ivar. You two are fated after all...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Violence   
> and heartbreak... I'm sorry. This killed me to write

"Who's Ubbe?" Enar asked you, his curiosity at two and a half was growing daily, Mikkel had not long turned six.  
"He's your father's brother. Why?"   
"I heard someone mention him. Is he bad?"  
"He wasn't when I knew him. I think he's just been lead astray."   
"Are you ready for the feast?" Kol asked when he came back in through the door. You'd been married to Kol for just over two years and in all honesty, you were happy. Kol didn't look at other women, didn't make you feel like second best. The Seer had been right; you had grown together and you did love him, something you never thought you'd do. You hadn't seen Ivar in a long time, Kol or your brothers usually taking the kids to the hall to see him.  
Kol was attentive and you'd become comfortable. You'd yet to tell him you were pregnant and you couldn't wait to see the look on his face. Kol would make an excellent father. The boys never called him Father, because Ivar wouldn't have let them, but you could see that they loved him like one. At the moment, he was Mikkel's hero.   
"Yes!" Enar shouted all excited. There was to be a bonfire and feast, celebrating the gods.   
"Go get dressed and tell Mikkel he needs to look smart!" You told your son, patting his bum as he ran off.   
Enar came running out, Mikkel behind him, both of them with their best tunics on and grinning from ear to ear.   
"We're ready Mother." Mikkel told you and you ruffled his hair.  
"Let's go!" Enar shouted, jumping up and down excitedly.  
"You look like smart little men, are you ready to follow orders?." Kol asked him as he walked past. Both of them liked to pretend they were already grown and taking orders for a raid  
"I am." Enar replied, in all seriousness. Mikkel nodded, a stoic look on his face.  
"Then here is the plan... Just go and have fun!" Kol laughed and the boys shouted in delight, running around the room after each other.  
Kol walked over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and you put your arms around his neck, smiling up at him.  
"Are you going to be okay? I know you haven't seen him in a while."   
"I'm sure I can manage. Besides, I'm going to be too busy running around after those two to even take notice of him. Or her."  
"Are you happy?" He asked you instead, looking into your eyes as if to find some truth.   
But you didn't need to lie.  
"Very. I'm very happy." You smiled, leaning up to kiss him on the lips. You couldn't wait to tell him later   
"Okay then boys, are you ready to go?" You asked.   
The excited shouts in reply confirmed that they were. You fussed over them before you went, while Kol went to change into a different tunic.   
The door to the hut opened, two men in masks, swords and axes in their hands. You quickly weighed them up, standing in front of the boys as you firmly pushed them away.  
"Mikkel, take Enar into the room and look after both him. Don't come out."  
"But ma..."  
"Mikkel please." You turned briefly, giving Mikkel a look and he nodded slightly.   
He did as he was told and the door closing behind them. You launched yourself at the men, hitting one of them across the face, punching him in the gut. You grabbed one of the knives, plunging it into his thigh.  
Kol came up from the front door, sneaking up behind the other one. You briefly saw the boys running as you knew they'd go to Hvitserk, or even Ivar.   
The man shouted and fought Kol w hike you took on the other guy. He went to grab you but you moved out of his way, grabbing another knife, ready to stab him.   
"What the hell do you want?" You snarled, running at him. He blocked your hand with the knife held in it, twisting your arm so you dropped it to the ground. You elbowed him in the side, stamping on his foot and twisting, headbutting him. This time it didn't make your head hurt as much as it did the first time. His nose was broken, blood dripping from it and he wiped it away, a grim laugh leaving his lips. He pulled the knife from his thigh, throwing it across the room. He stood looking at you like a demon and you swallowed, ready to take whatever it was the gods had in store for you. You grabbed an axe from the wall, holding it at your side, but he just laughed.   
"You shouldn't have done that." He told you.   
You kicked him, aiming your legs at his but he held firm until you threw your head back, catching him in the mouth. He let you go and you got away. He growled at you, before picking up the axe and swinging it at you, it missed, embedding itself in the wall and you took your eyes off him for a moment. He took the opportunity to stab you. Not where he would have liked, near your thigh. You thanked the Gods it wasn't in your stomach. You took a shaky step back, looking down at the blood that was forming. You'd grazed a sword blade a few times, been hit with a shield and almost had an arrow, had been punched and kicked before but there was something wholly different to being stabbed. It hurt and he pulled the knife out, stabbing it into your shoulder. The blood was leaking and you couldn't hold yourself up anymore. Your body felt heavy and you stumbled, your thoughts going to Mikkel and Enar.  
"Y/N!" Kol shouted. You turned seeing him covered in blood but you weren't sure whose blood it was. He made his way over to you, the axe slicing through the man's neck. You stumbled a little, knocking over an ornament. Kol caught you, holding you up right.  
"You're okay. I've got you."  
"Kol... I'm... We're going to have... Look out!"  
The man Kol had been fighting got up from the floor, holding on to his side. He still had enough strength however to slam his knife into Kol's neck, blood spraying your face. You screamed, desperately trying to keep his blood in but your body was losing strength as his weight fell on top of you.   
You heard footsteps but you blacked out before you you saw who it was. 

 

IVAR'S POV. 

Little feet pounded behind him and he saw his son running towards him, tears streaming down his face. Mikkel was following behind him, Thora behind them, frantically looking to see where he gone. He climbed onto the table, knowing you couldn't bend down to pick him up and he launched himself into your arms, his own wrapping tightly around his neck.   
"Enar... Enar what is it?"   
"Men..." But he wasn't making much sense through his sobbing.   
"Hold on tight okay?" Ivar told Enar and he nodded against his neck, holding on tightly as he walked over to Thora. Blood was on her cheek, tears in her eyes.   
"What is it?"   
"Kol and Y/N... They've been attacked."   
Ivar's body went cold, rage blurring his vision. He let out a shout, Enar flinching in his arms and he apologised before turning back to Thora.  
"Mikkel..?" He asked, voice hoarse.  
"Mother told us to go the room and not come out. I knew that meant there would be trouble so I got Enar and ran."   
"Good boy Mikkel. You did the right thing."  
"I shouldn't have left mother. That was the right thing." He said defiantly, chin jutting out.  
Ivar noticed her parents were coming over, her brothers too, Runa following.   
"Is she...?" He asked but what cut off by her brother talking.   
"Thora what is it? Why do you have blood on you?"   
"Kol and Y/N have been attacked. Erica and Hvitserk are with her... She's...." Thora began but was cut off by a sob.  
Ottar, Ander and Storr ran to the hut, murder in their eyes but Halvor and Vegard stood watching you, waiting to see what you order.   
"Go with them, bring them to me." Ivar's voice was deadly calm but they ran off after their brothers.   
"Eric could you please take your grandson?"   
"No!" Enar wailed, holding on tighter to Ivar's neck, fresh tears on his skin.   
"I'll take them." Floki's voice floated behind you and after a bit of coaxing, Enar went to him. He put his arm around Mikkel's shoulders, pulling him to his side.   
Ivar touched his sons cheek, seeing that one side was more red than the other.   
"Did they hit you?"   
"He hit it on the run over here. I was running a little too fast." Mikkel said, looking ashamed. Ivar ruffled his hair, his fingers lingering on his cheeks.  
"Why would anyone attack them? Are they both okay?" Her mother asked.  
"Kol is dead."   
There was a sound of a scuffle and Ivar turned to see her brothers dragging one of the men, they threw him to the floor in front of Ivar's feet. His face was bloody, nose broken, thigh coated in blood.   
"Did you do this?"   
"No, Y/N did." Her brother said, pride in his voice.   
"Is she?"   
"Alive. Erica got there in time but she's weak. Hvitserk has gone to get the physicians."   
"Ivar what's going on? You're missing the feast." Freydis's voice came from behind him. He took a deep breath, turning to her.   
"This doesn't concern you."   
"Ivar... I am your Queen."   
"I have told you that it doesn't concern you so leave us!" He shouted.  
"Is this about her? Is she pregnant again and you've had an epiphany?"   
Ivar roared, making her flinch and she stared at him, eyes wide with fear.   
"Do you never listen?!"  
"I am your Queen Ivar. I am not going to let you run back to that disgusting whore just because..."  
Ivar grabbed her by the throat, hand wrapped tightly around her neck. She tried to get his hand off of her but there was no such luck.  
"Ivar..." She croaked and he let her go.  
"Get out of Kattegat before I strangle you again and this time I won't stop."  
"But your son..."   
"Isn't mine is he? I know you've made your way half way around my men."   
Freydis grew white, eyes looking to the floor, tears forming.   
"You... After the raid you didn't bother with me." She fake cried.  
"Because I don't love you and after spending the night with Y/N I realised that. What I did was a mistake, I should have never brought you back. Find the man who got you with child and go off with him. I'll divorce you as soon as he's found."   
"You can't defy the Gods Ivar! They brought us together and only they can tear us apart!" She shouted.  
"I can defy whoever I want! Now get out of Kattegat or the next breath you draw will be your last!"   
Freydis looked at him like she'd never seen him before but are turned and left anyway, head held high as she tried to regain some semblance of dignity.   
"Tie him up." Ivar said, turning to Vegard once Freydis was gone. He'd need to the Seer and dissolve the marriage as soon as. "I'll be back to deal with him later."   
Vegard nodded and dragged the man off, Ander following him.   
"Ottar, find out what you know about these men. Storr go and fetch the seer and make him give Freydis and I a divorce. Halvor, fetch my brother and tell him to look after things for a while. Ander, you're in charge of the men. Floki, put Enar on my back and follow me with the boys. Keep them close." The little boy was eager to get back to his father and he held on tightly to him when he got to his back.   
"I still can't believe this has happened."   
"Neither of us can mother."  
"But why... Why them?"  
"That's what we'll be finding out." Her father said, pure venom in his voice. He followed after where his sons had taken the man.  
"Come on my sons, let's go see your mother." Ivar told them, knowing full well with her father heading up the interrogation too, they'd soon have an answer.   
Ivar walked to where the hut was, Enar holding tightly to his neck. When they got there he passed Hvitserk, his hands covered with blood but he was smiling slightly and that meant that she was fine. He clasped him on the shoulder with his free hand.   
"She's in a bit of a state but they are working on her. She'll live."   
Ivar nodded, taking a deep breath before walking into the room. Enar loosened his grip and Floki picked him off Ivar, setting him down on the floor. He ran to his mother but Erica stopped him, telling him to not jump on her. Mikkel stood to the side, a little scared to go near the bed. Floki put a hand on his shoulder, pushing him slightly to go to his father. Ivar opened his arm and Mikkel went to him, tucking himself to his side.  
Ivar looked at Y/N; the bandages around her hip and shoulder, the faint bruise on her cheek and the fresh one that had appeared. He dreaded to think what the rest of her body was like.   
"My King, she's going to be fine. A lot of rest and recovery but she's strong. She'll live."   
Ivar let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and walked over to her. Erica pulled a chair out so he could sit by her and Enar crawled into his lap.   
"What's wrong with ma?"   
"She's just a little poorly Enar." Mikkel told his younger brother.  
"Mikkel is right and your mother will need some rest to get better so will you stay with Uncle Floki?"   
"But..."   
"You can come see her everyday and it'll only be for a little while. I promise. You trust your father don't you?"   
He nodded and threw his arms around him in a hug. Ivar curled his arms around him, holding him tight.   
"You look after your brothers Mikkel, you are a strong boy and I am very proud of what you did." He said over Enar's head.  
"I'll look after them." He promised, and Ivar gathered him in a hug.  
"I love you Papa." Enar said, giving Ivar a kiss on the cheek before going to Floki.   
"We all do." Mikkel told him and Ivar nodded, too choked up to reply.   
He waited for them to go before he moved himself to the bed, settling beside her and taking her hand. How stupid he'd been, how utterly stupid. The tears formed and he couldn't stop himself.   
"I love you." He whispered through tears, kissing her cheek. "Hurry up and come back to me."


	11. Fated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: You are happily married to Ivar. Or so you thought. On a raid he brings back a new woman; Freydis. He hopes he'll have the best of both worlds but he doesn't count on you. You have a choice to make; stay with him and share him or divorce him and start a new life. Whatever route you take, the path will always lead to Ivar. You two are fated after all...

It took a while for your eyes to adjust, the light hurting your eyes and the dull pain in your side and shoulder making it hard to move. You turned your head, seeing dark hair on the other side of you, Mikkel's sleeping face pinched in a frown. You moved on the bed, running you fingers through your son's hair and at your touch he stirred, turning his head.   
"You're awake." His voice sounded full of sleep but he rubbed his eyes and sat up on the bed properly.   
"Hello my boy. Have you been here the whole time?"   
He nodded before throwing himself at you, his arms around your neck as he hugged you. There was a brief shooting of pain but for a hug from Mikkel, you soon forgot it.  
You went to say something when the door burst open and in ran Enar, his little cheeks flushed from running, Thora behind him.   
"She's awake she's awake!" He shouted, happy little face running towards you and jumping on the bed next to his Mikkel.   
"I'm going to fetch father." Thora said. Her voice echoed around the house and you let out a laugh. They'd all come crashing in soon.   
"How are you feeling?" Hvitserk asked, the first one through, an apple he'd been eating momentarily discarded.   
"Sore but better. What happened?"  
"Two men attacked you, they stabbed you. Twice. Mikkel got the boys out and ran to tell all of us."  
"Where's... Oh gods Kol. Is he... Is he dead?" You cried.  
"Y/N, I'm sorry." Hvitserk said, watching you crumble.  
Your father came into the room and you were thrust into his arms, barely able to breathe but you let it happen. Your father only gave hugs like this when he was scared about something.  
"My little girl. I'm so glad your awake."  
"Grandpa your squashing her." Mikkel said and Enar took the opportunity to climb onto his grandfather's back and roar like a lion. He let you go and you laughed at Enar.   
Mikkel settled close to you, like he was scared you were going to disappear if he wasn't near you. You put an arm around him, hugging him close.  
"Everyone has been worried about you. Particularly Mikkel, he's not left your side."  
You kissed Mikkel's head and wondered why no one was mentioning Ivar. Surely he'd be happy to know you were awake?   
You went to speak but everyone crowded into the room; your mother, sister, brothers, even Floki managed to squeeze in and you laughed at how he managed to squeeze his overly tall frame into your room.  
Eventually everyone left, food being brought in by Runa and the boys stayed on your bed after your father had managed to deposit Enar down next to you. Floki and Hvitserk were the only two left and you looked at them.   
"What's going on?" You asked the pair of them.  
"It's Ivar."  
"That I guessed."  
"He went a little... Crazy when he found out all that happened to you." Hvitserk said.  
"Why?" You asked.  
"They almost killed you. He lost it, people have been killed, raids on his own people. And now the threat with our brother..."  
"What threat?"  
"Ubbe has teamed up with Bjorn and Lagertha. They aim to take Kattegat back, to fight Ivar. The men... they were from Ubbe's camp. He wanted to know Ivar's weakness... That was you." Floki said.   
"Ubbe told them to do that to me?" You asked, eyebrows raised.   
"Not my brother no. He likes you and he wouldn't hurt you. It was Lagertha."  
"What?"   
"Ubbe wanted information, that's true but he didn't want it this way. He asked for them to spy, to find Ivar's weakness. It was Lagertha who told them to kill you." Floki told you.   
"Lagertha? But..."  
"We don't know why she'd do that either but Ivar is trying to find out."  
"Did... Did Kol..."  
"He's had his funeral. Your parents were there on your behalf."  
You held back a sob and Floki put his arms around you, hugging you close.   
"I need to get away for a while. I... There's too much stuff here. Too much baggage."  
"You can stay in my hut. I'm going on an errand so it'll be quiet."  
"Thank you Floki."  
"I best go tell that brother of mine that your awake." Hvitserk said, not looking entirely pleased.  
"Where is he?"  
"He and Freydis are in a show down. He told her to get out, been and got the Seer to dissolve their marriage but she won't leave."  
"Let him stay in his misery. I don't want to see him right now. I just... I need time. Me and the boys. And the baby."  
"Your...?" Floki asked.  
"I never got to tell him." You sobbed and Floki put his arms around you.  
Hvitserk nodded, kissing you on the forehead before he left. Floki left not long after and you turned over in bed, watching your two little boys sleep by your side. Tears fell from your eyes; anguish over Kol, over how shit your life really was. You lost one husband to another woman and now another to an attack. What was going to happen next? Would your children be taken? Moving to Floki's hut couldn't come quick enough.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

A whole year of just you and your boys. You gave birth to Kol's child, a daughter and you named her Tordis. It meant Goddess of Thor.  
It was pure bliss just being you and your children.   
Your boys were growing daily, their likes and dislikes changing every second. They loved being here.   
They did go and see their grandparents on occasion and, of course, Ivar. The boys and Tordis were staying the day at your parents and you decided to go for a walk. A long walk. Kol had been gone for all this time and you felt as though you'd lost your best friend. You loved him and you missed talking to him. He had listened to you as you spoke about Ivar and Freydis, about all the emotions you'd gone through. And he told you of the girl he had lost on a raid a while back, and he'd never quite got over it. He said there had been a few girls after her but they'd treated him as a reserve, someone to make others jealous. You'd held him as he'd spilled everything and that was the night Tordis was consumed. Gods how you wished you'd told him.  
And you'd been happy.   
And now you had something of his to carry on his bloodline. To carry on his sweet natured ways.  
You wiped away tears.   
No more. You wouldn't cry any more.   
You found yourself on top of the barricades Ivar had built, the threat of his brothers was strong enough that he needed it now. It was quiet, serene and you took a deep breath before looking up at the sky.   
This was home.   
You went to leave when a voice halted you.  
"You look good Y/N."  
"Ivar." You whispered. You'd not seen him for 3 years, and you swore the whisperings that you heard from him when you lay injured were just a figment of your imagination. You turned to face him. He looked a little older but not much. You could see that while you'd not seen him, there was a new kind of craziness to him. But his eyes softened when they saw you, taking you in; your face, your mouth, travelling oh so slowly down your body until his eyes faced you again.   
That look hurt.   
He'd never looked at you so... Tenderly before.  
"How are you?" He asked.  
"Healed."  
"How's Tordis?"   
"You know her name?" You asked surprised.  
"Of course. I met her when I took Mikkel and Enar home a few days ago. She looks like you."  
"She has Kol's eyes though." You told him and he flinched a little at his name.  
"Ivar...?"  
"I'm sorry you lost him. I know you were happy together, that you loved him."  
You nodded your head, seeing the... Pain in his eyes. What did he expect you to do? Lie? You had loved Kol.   
"I should get going. I..."  
"Was it the same love you had for me?" He asked and you looked at him like he had gone crazy.  
"The love I had for Kol was different. We were best friends, we grew together, we were happy and I loved him. The love I had for you... That was explosive, soul shattering. I loved Kol with all my heart but you... You are buried deep within in me."  
"Did..." He began but you cut him off.  
"What about Freydis? What's your love for her like?" You asked, fighting back tears.   
"Non existent."  
"What?"   
"I didnt, I couldn't. Not after you."  
"No. No you must have loved her because what was the point of all of this?"  
"Maybe I did in the beginning but it grew to hate. After a while I looked at her and all I saw was you, she sat on the throne and I saw you you, walking, sleeping, everything... it was you. It hurt, when I heard you were marrying Kol, and the pain I felt when I heard you both fucking was..."  
"What? When did you...?"  
"I came by after you were married, I wanted to speak to you, your mother said you'd gone to the hut and... I heard you. It hurt because those moans, those screams, they were mine. They belonged to me."  
"You finally got the pain I felt huh?"  
"Pain? It was bone numbing! I raged and killed and tore things apart. I wanted the pain to stop and I didn't know how. Knowing you were happy, without me, was the worst feeling ever..."  
"Welcome to how I felt Ivar. Welcome to my pain and hurt when you stepped off that boat with her, when I heard you fucking her. And you know what, you never fucking apologised for any of it."  
Ivar blanched, frowning as if he was looking back to find out where he did...  
But he didn't find it.   
"Y/N... I'm... By the gods I am sorry. So so sorry that I never thought about your feelings in all of that. And I'm sorry that I didn't fight to get you back, that I just let you go. Because you are the best thing that happened to me, the only bright part in my life and I let it all go for her."  
"Thank you." You whispered, wiping a year away. So much for not crying anymore.  
He reached out to touch your cheek and you smiled softly at him.  
"I've not seen that aimed at me for a long time." He told you.  
"This was just a one off." You joked and he smiled, a bright smile that made your shattered heart beat again.   
"Y/N, I..."  
"Ivar. Someone is coming. Look!" You pointed out to where men were walking into Kattegat, battering rams, swords, shields, catapults.   
"They can't get in." Ivar told you, just as both of you heard a noise. You looked over the barricade, seeing someone walking towards the gates.   
They opened them wide.   
When they looked up at you, there was surprise in their eyes but they quickly walked away, keeping their head down.  
"Ivar... My brother Ander has just opened the gates..."


	12. Fated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: You are happily married to Ivar. Or so you thought. On a raid he brings back a new woman; Freydis. He hopes he'll have the best of both worlds but he doesn't count on you. You have a choice to make; stay with him and share him or divorce him and start a new life. Whatever route you take, the path will always lead to Ivar. You two are fated after all...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Violence- but someone gets their just deserves haha

"Get to the hall."  
"I need to get to my children Ivar."  
"They will be safe. Your father will make sure nothing happens to them. To the hall Y/N."  
"Why?"  
"Trust me."  
You nodded slightly, following him back to the hall where you found Freydis and Ander together; she had his hands on his chest, his in her hair...  
"What's going on?" You asked Ivar.   
"There's something you should know. Freydis and your brother have been having an affair. The child is his. I've been... Keeping an eye on them. And they've just confirmed that they were working for my brother's all along."  
"Ander?" You asked him, confusion in your voice.   
"He's crazy, Y/N. He'll say and do anything right now." He licked his lips after he'd finished speaking. His tell. He'd always done that when he was lying.  
"I saw you open the gate."  
"That wasn't me. I've been here." Lies again.   
"You do know that when you lie... You lick your lips?"  
Ander went white. Nothing got past you, not even as a child. You'd always been able to tell when they were lying.   
"Listen to me. This... This is what Kattegat needs; Ivar off the throne. They need a new King."  
"And I suppose that'll be you huh?"  
"They've said as much."  
"Kattegat belongs to the Ragnarssons, Ander. They won't put you in the throne. You've been used. Probably by her too."  
Freydis seethed at you, baring her teeth in a snarl. You looked at her, watching her and something suddenly dawned on you; Lagertha didn't know who you were, she wouldn't have ordered an attack on you. Sure they wanted to know Ivar's weakness but they would have used that to their advantage. From what you knew of Ubbe, he was shrewd, he'd have formed a plot regarding you. You smiled at her, unnerving her a little. You pulled out the knife that was at your side, flicking it in your hand.  
"How long have you been using the name of Lagertha to get what you wanted?"   
"I don't know what you are talking about." She said.  
"Y/N?" Ivar asked, attention on you.   
"Floki said that Lagertha had ordered the attack on me. But Lagertha doesn't know me. But you do."  
"Ivar do not listen to her my love."  
"Oh how quickly you change sides." You smirked at her.  
"Ivar my love, I wouldn't do that. You know me, you love me. She's making up lies so she can separate us..."  
"Freydis?" Ander began and your heart kind of broke for him.   
Only slightly.   
Because what he said next, made your blood run cold.  
"My love the game is up. We can't hide our plans anymore."  
"You were apart of those plans?"  
"I didn't think she'd actually go through with it. Or that you'd nearly die."   
"I'm going to kill you. You and Freydis."  
"No you won't, because if I don't show up at the meeting point, I've given them instructions to get your children."  
You launched yourself at him, nails raking down his face, scratching him deep. He yelled at the pain, the blood covering his face. Freydis screamed too once you turned you attention to her.  
"What the fuck.!?" Your brother shouted, hand to his face.   
"You never mentioned anything about maiming you."  
"Let him go Y/N. He'll get his comeuppance. Especially once your family hear what's happened."  
"Come Freydis. Let's go."   
"Freydis stays." Ivar replied.  
"She's coming with me."  
"You said 'if I don't show up' you never said anything about her."  
"No, no I meant both of us..." Ander sputtered but Ivar flicked his fingers, the guards you hadn't seen hiding in the shadows came forward, pulling at his arms to drag him out.  
"No... No. Let her come with me." You heard your brothers pathetic pleas as he left the hall.  
Freydis blanched when she looked at you. She turned, throwing herself at Ivars feet, hands scrambling at his clothes.  
"Ivar please have mercy. The gods... I'm their chosen one. We can forget all about this, start again, have children of our own. I'll forsake Ander, I'll be wholly yours. Ivar, my love, please."  
Ivar looked over at you, eyes colliding with yours. You wanted to rip her head from her neck from the first moment you saw her. And even now, that feeling was still strong. You nodded at Ivar, you wanted to kill her but you wanted to hear her speak first.  
"Why did you turn Freydis? If the Gods made you for me, then why look elsewhere?"  
"Because of her!" She screeched. "She was never going to leave here, never going to leave your heart and with her gone, then I could occupy that space."  
"Why Ander? And if you answer me truthfully my love, we can forget all of this."   
You knew her eyes would be lighting up in victory and she knelt up, hands on Ivar's face.   
"He seduced me a long time ago. I knew him before I came here, when he was apart of Bjorn's men. And then I saw you. And I wanted you and I took you. I didn't know Ander was her brother, or that he'd turn up here but when he did... It was as if I was back being a young woman again, falling for his charms."  
"You knew my brother?" Ivar asked, but he said it in such a way that Freydis wouldn't have known he was playing her.  
"Yes. He was kind and he spoke of his other brothers. Told me all who you were and that there was a rift and all he wanted to do was to get back his home. He needed to make you pay, and that you always were weak for pretty women. He said that you'd love me if I spoke of the Gods, and if I found out stuff for him. It wasn't Ubbe who wanted to know your weakness. It was Bjorn. And I found it. It was her."  
"And the plan my love?"   
"Ander said to scare her, because as much as he was Bjorn's man, she was his sister, but I wanted her gone. Dead. Because then you'd be weak and Bjorn could take back what is rightfully his and I'd reign by his side."   
She stopped after that, because she knew exactly what she'd just said. She wanted power, wealth, and Bjorn had promised her that.   
You couldn't feel sorry for her though.  
"Bjorn loved you?"   
"Everyone did." She replied, "Even Lagertha did and they were so pleased when I told them that I'd found your weakness and was going to kill it."  
"My love..." Ivar stroked her cheek before his hand went around her throat. She struggled to breathe and as much as you wanted her dead. She was yours to kill. No one else's.   
"Ivar."   
He looked at you, his hand slacking from her throat and she gasped for air.   
"Would you have been satisfied by just killing her?" Ivar aksed, head tilted to the side. Oh he was keeping his anger in check.   
"No. Everyone you loved would have been killed."  
"Including my children?" He asked but she didn't need to say anything. Because it would have included them.   
"She's yours."  
"Ivar... Ivar no please please."  
Your knife went into her side and she gasped in pain.   
"That's for trying to hurt my children."  
You stabbed her again in the back.  
"That's for killing Kol."  
Your knife went to her throat, slicing across it ever so slowly. The blood gurgled, slipping down her neck, soaking her dress.   
"And that's for taking my husband." You whispered, but she was long dead, her body slumping to the floor. Ivar walked over to you, not even bothering with the blood that was on you and kissed you. Hard.   
"Let's go and say hello to my brother." 

\----------------------------

Ivar stood on top of the ramparts, looking down at the men below.   
"Hello brother." He shouted, that manic edge to his voice as he looked at Bjorn. You saw Ander down there and he caught your eye, noticing you were covered in blood. Bjorn went to speak to Ivar but Ander cut him off.  
"What did you do with her?"   
"Do you want to say hello to her Ander?" You asked and he nodded.   
You threw her head down by his feet.  
"There she is."  
"You..."  
"As much as I would like to know why my spy has her head cut off. That can be asked at another time. I want Kattegat brother." Bjorn said, ignoring what was happening between you and Ander.   
You scanned the crowd, seeing if any of your brothers were also there but you couldn't spot anyone. You saw Ubbe and he gave you a small nod.   
"Then come and take it." Ivar said, grinning like a madman.   
And the battle for Kattegat began.


	13. Fated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: You are happily married to Ivar. Or so you thought. On a raid he brings back a new woman; Freydis. He hopes he'll have the best of both worlds but he doesn't count on you. You have a choice to make; stay with him and share him or divorce him and start a new life. Whatever route you take, the path will always lead to Ivar. You two are fated after all...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some smut in this one

You were coated in blood, Ander’s among the staining. He had a horrible death, but that was only because he refused to go down. Hit after hit after hit. It was a mercy to just slit his throat after.  
Ivar had got his revenge on Lagertha for killing his mother; it was one of those moments where you saw the tension leave his body. His revenge over with. And oh was it gruesome. No one really expected Ivar to fight so well but he did; a sword slashed against her side, through her back and then across her throat, oh so slowly, he’d copied the death you’d given Freydis.  
The battle was over, Ivar had been captured and most probably beaten by an emotional Bjorn and now you were faced with a choice.  
One that Ubbe had given you.  
“You can leave on a boat tonight, take your children and get to safety or you can stay here, continue to fight, even though there’s nothing left to fight for.”  
“And Ivar?” You asked.  
“He’s a prisoner now Y/N. He’s to stay here.”  
“Bjorn will kill him won’t he?”  
“Y/N, please don’t make this any harder.”  
You nodded, looking down at the ground before looking up into Ubbe’s eyes. He’d changed so much and you wondered if there was anything left of the boy you once knew.  
“Then I’ll leave. My children are my priority.”  
“You’ll have safe passage. There will only be a few men to go with you, to steer the boat.”  
“I get that. Thank you Ubbe.” You leant up to kiss his cheek.  
“It’s good to see you again Y/N. However briefly it was and the circumstances surrounding it.”  
“Same Ubbe. You could always come with us? I know the children would love to know you.”  
“I noticed the baby doesn’t really look like Ivar… What happened there?” He asked, small, mischievous smile on his face.  
“If you come with us, I’ll tell you.”  
Ubbe shook his head before he walked away. At least he had a smile on his face though.  
Hvitserk was walking over to you, Erica by his side. They were both covered in blood but you weren’t quite sure which side they’d been on. You knew Hvitserk was always torn between them so this must have been killing him.  
“Hvitserk.” You hugged him close, his arms around you as you stood there for a while.  
“Ubbe said you’ll have safe passage?”  
“He did. Are you coming too Hvitserk? Please say you are.”  
“Y/N, Kattegat is my home.”  
“I know but it would be incredibly lonely without you. Please think about it.” You whispered, giving him a small kiss on the lips.  
“Erica doesn’t take well to other women kissing me.” He joked.  
“Oh shut it Hvitserk. She’s an exception.” Erica laughed.  
She hugged you too. You’d always thought of Erica as another sister instead of a thrall. They were good together, her and Hvitserk. And besides… She could cook.  
“I’ll try an persuade him to come.” She whispered to you before letting you go. You walked over to where Ubbe had hid your children and a few others who were allowed to go with you. Mikkel ran to you, not caring about the blood on you and you brushed the hair off his face.  
“Did you see where they’d taken him?”  
“I did mother.”  
“Good boy.” You told him, kissing his forehead. Now all you had to do was wait.  
It was dark when you a few others followed Mikkel’s instructions to where Ivar was being kept. You slipped up behind the guards, slicing their throats and you got Ivar out. They’d taken the metal frames from his legs and his face was hardly recognisable from the beatings he’d had. You went to smash you sword against the lock but a hand on your arm stopped you and you turned, seeing Ubbe.  
He handed you a key.  
“Quickly.”  
“Ubbe…”  
“I may not like him, but the death Bjorn has planned for him is not something I want to see.”  
“Come with us.” You whispered.  
“Y/N…”  
“Then at least help me get him onto the boat.”  
Ubbe nodded, helping one of the guards lift him up and to the boat. You hoped Ubbe came with you, you hoped Hvitserk was on the boat too…  
“You should go before Bjorn realises you are all gone.”  
“Come with us…”  
“Y/N.”  
“You should come with us brother.” You turned to see Hvitserk, an apple in his hand as he lifted it up and took a bite.  
“Kattegat is home…” Ubbe began but Hvitserk cut him off.  
“No Ubbe, home is wherever the people you love are. I love Erica, and Erica loves Y/N like a sister. And I do too, well maybe not a sister seeing as what we got up… Never mind. My point is; wherever they go, I go. I may have my own issues with Ivar, I may still look at him and want to strangle him for what he did to Sigurd,”  
Your heart stopped when you thought of Sigurd but you’d just done the same to your brother after all. You were more like Ivar than you probably thought.  
“But he’s my brother, my little brother and he needs us. Even if he doesn’t deserve us most, okay all of the time. What’s here brother? Nothing. Just memories. We can make new ones, somewhere new.”  
There was a bit of a stare-down between Hvitserk and Ubbe but you saw the moment his eyes softened when he looked at him, before turning that soft gaze on you.  
“Someone needs to stay, to make sure Bjorn doesn’t come after you…”  
“No.” You said, “Someone needs to kill him.”  
“Y/N, killing Bjorn isn’t an option.” Ubbe told you but you took the knife out of its holder, flicking it in your hands.  
“He’s caused enough problems. He threatened my children, told that bitch to fuck with Ivar’s mind more than it already is, he had Kol killed… It’s definitely an option.”  
“Whose Kol?” Ubbe asked but Hvitserk shook his head, whispering something to him that you couldn’t quite catch. Without another word you jumped off the boat, telling Hvitserk to look after your children but he followed you, along with Ubbe.  
“He’ll kill you. He has so many guards…”  
“Ubbe if you aren’t going to say anything positive then leave!”  
“He’ll be in his room, possibly.” He told you.  
“Then to the room I go.”  
You left Ubbe and Hvitserk standing there as you slipped into the shadows. You passed some of Bjorn’s men who were already stumbling around drunk and went straight to where Bjorn would be; your old home.  
It was easy to get in, you knew the secret ways afterall and you caught some of the men from Ivar’s army in there, allegiance soon changed as soon as he was defeated. The biggest shock was seeing your mother and Vegard in the hall, drinking with the men. Where was your father? But you couldn’t dwell on that. You knew, deep down that your mother would change sides when the odds were stacked against you. Plus, you killed her favourite son. You were probably as good as dead to her now.  
Slipping into your old room, you saw Bjorn with a woman and you knew her screaming would cause everyone to come running so you hid, aiming and throwing the knife at her from the shadows, it hit the back of her neck and she dropped down to the floor instantly. Bjorn looked around the room, trying to see where it had come from and you took you chance, hitting him with one of the vases you’d picked up. He grabbed his sword, swinging it around at you, narrowly missing you.  
“And here’s me thinking you killed that woman so you could have me to yourself instead.”  
“Don’t flatter yourself.”  
“We could rule Kattegat together…”  
“Just shut up.” You said, throwing your knife at him, while he was distracted, you pulled a sword quickly from the wall and ran towards him, your swords ringing when they clashed. Bjorn was a good fighter, too good and you soon started to feel the bitter sting of defeat. You shouldn’t have done this. You were battered and bruised, a cut on your head where he’d nicked you. Your body still sore from the battle earlier.  
“You know, I’d have thought a woman of Ivar’s would have a bit more strength to her. Then again, you did lose two loves in your life, that’s got to weaken anyone…”  
He didn’t even see it coming. While he was taunting you, you took a deep breath and ran at him, the sword slicing against his side. He lost his balance, falling to his knees and you went to strike him again but you could hear voices getting closer to the door and you panicked. You gripped the sword tightly, going to the window. Bjorn grabbed you leg as you went passed and you kicked at him, hearing a grunt of pain from him. You got free, pulling your knife and stabbing him quickly in the leg, the arm anywhere you could reach before you jumped out of the window and ran. Luckily Ubbe and Hvitserk were waiting for you and they helped you to the boat, both climbing in next to you as you sailed away.  
Mikkel and Enar were sat by Ivar and you joined them. Noticing your father holding Tordis, a look of sorrow on his face. Thora and Runa next to him. At least some of your family had come with you.  
You didn’t know you if you had killed Bjorn or not but no one came after you, at least no one that you saw. You didn’t know how long it took then to find out Ivar was gone.  
You sailed for so long, you had no idea where you were going but you eventually landed on an island, so far away from Kattegat that they’d never be able to find you.  
You helped Ivar back to health, he was weak when you all got off the boat, covered in injuries from the battle, lack of food and water making him ill.  
You briefly wondered if he would survive.  
Eventually you found out that the place you’d landed at was called Ireland and as much as the villagers didn’t want you there, they soon began to realise you weren’t a threat. They treated you like one of their own.  
Ivar got better and after defending the place from intruders, raiders, anyone who dared stepped foot on the land, the villagers revered him as a King.  
And so his new rule began.  
Ivar and you grew back together again but you never let him get any further than just talking or him touching your face. You loved him but you needed to know that it wouldn’t happen again, that he truly was sorry. He came by one day, after he’d had his braids taken out, he came to you in your new home.  
You’d just put Tordis down for a sleep, the boys already tucked up in their beds when the door knocked.  
“Ivar.” You said once it was opened.  
“I… Can I come in?”  
You opened the door and motioned for him to go in. He sat down awkwardly on a chair and rubbed his face, letting out a small noise of pain.  
“Ivar? Is everything okay?” You asked, kneeling down in front of him.  
“It hurts.”  
“What does? Are you injured?”  
“Not having you Y/N. It hurts and I… I just want you. I need you.”  
“Ivar…”  
“Just let me speak. I said when we were back in Kattegat that I was sorry. And I still am. I always will be. And I know that you loved Kol, I know that he was everything I couldn’t be and that hurts. Because I wanted to be that man for you. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t do anything because my soul aches.” He brought his hands up to your face, cupping your cheeks. “I love you. I always will and if you say that you never want to love me again, I’ll take your wishes and I won’t ever bother you again. I just… I know how it feels. I know the pain you felt and I just want to it go away. Please. Please just say that you’ll… Give me a chance again. Anything.”  
“Do you know that you’ve never said that to me before? You’ve never said that you love me.”  
“And what I fool I was for not saying it.”  
“Ivar… Its going to take a while to trust you again. I need to know that you won’t ever do that again to me. That you’ll never hurt me again.”  
“I promise you I won’t. I will spend every waking second of my life making it up to you, making you see that I am sorry and that I love you. I will never ever do that again.”  
Your heart was breaking because that was all you’d wanted to hear for so long.  
“Ivar…”  
“We’ll continue to go slow. Like we’ve been doing but I just need to know that there is hope.”  
“You need to prove that nothing will ever happen like to again.”  
“I’ll prove it until the day I die.”  
“You need to romance me Ivar.”  
“Done.”  
“Starting now. Ivar, kiss me. But not possessive, not because you just want to fuck me. Kiss me with love.”  
He brought his face to yours slowly, his lips teasing yours, little kisses here and there before he kissed you deeply. His hands went into your hair, fingers running through the strands and you felt it, felt the love, felt the soul defying moment your fates became intertwined again. When you pulled back, there were tears in his eyes but also a smug smile.  
“You said I never told you that I loved you before.” He said, nipping at your jaw, kissing your neck, “But I did say it. I said it after the attack when I thought I was going to lose you.”  
“I thought I’d dreamt that.” You moaned, his lips kissing your throat.  
Fuck going slow. He was working you up and if he left, you were pretty sure you’d go insane from not having his touch all over your body.  
“Nope. No dream. That was me. I just wished I hadn’t waited until you were unconscious to say it.”  
His lips found yours again and you melted, your hands holding his arms tightly. Everything went in slow motion; You pulled his tunic off, not giving him a chance to do anything. You kissed his neck, biting his jaw and he groaned, your fingers touching every inch of his chest, fingers tracing the tattoo.  
He took off your dress, fingers lingering on your skin, chasing the stretch marks from your children, your dress pooling to the floor.  
“What about going slow?” He asked you.  
“Fuck slow.”  
You took a hold of his hand, helping him up as he followed you to the the bed. You helped him with his braces, slowing pulling his trousers off, kissing up his body.   
“No, we’ll go slow.” He told you.  
He kissed you, tongue slipping into your mouth, slowly teasing you, he rolled you onto your back, his mouth trailing kisses down your body, your breasts until he found your spot. He kissed you once, twice, tongue slipping in between your folds. You groaned and that contact, body reacting, jerking off the bed. Too long, too long.   
He never gave up, his mouth bringing you right to the edge before pulling away, teasing you with his tongue and fingers, making you delirious with passion.   
“Ivar!” You groaned, gripping his hair as he brought you to your highest point. You muffled your screams, coming over his tongue. Your body was sweating but you needed him inside. Needed that connection. He kissed the inside of your thigh, kissing your breasts again, lavishing them with attention before kissing your shoulder, your neck, your jaw before kissing your mouth. You tasted yourself on his lips and you shifted your legs, ready to accommodate him. While still kissing you, he thrust himself into you slowly, stretching you fully and you both groaned.   
“Gods your so tight.”  
“It’s been a while Ivar.” You moaned.   
He slid out slowly, thrusting back into you and you groaned at the sensation.  
It was slow, tortuously slow. Your body was covered with sweat again, legs wrapped around his waist. It was just what you needed, it was nothing like you remembered it being, it was always fast and animal-like but this…  
This was what he meant when he said he’d show you that he loved you. Tears sprung to your eyes and he kissed them away. Your body started to tremble and he let you come first, muffling your sounds so as not to wake up the children. He followed not long after and he looked at you in the eyes once it was over, your body trembling with passion.  
“I love you,” he said, nuzzling your cheek with his own, “And I’m never ever going to give you doubt again.


	14. Fated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: You are happily married to Ivar. Or so you thought. On a raid he brings back a new woman; Freydis. He hopes he'll have the best of both worlds but he doesn't count on you. You have a choice to make; stay with him and share him or divorce him and start a new life. Whatever route you take, the path will always lead to Ivar. You two are fated after all...

Things had changed in ten years. You’d remarried Ivar but only after a significant amount of time where he proved he loved you every day. Your souls merging together again. You still worshipped your Gods but Ivar wasn’t as manic about them anymore, he didn’t sacrifice or hold rituals in their honour anymore. It was as if he was afraid of talking about them again in case he got too carried away.  
Mikkel was a young man now, already catching the eyes of several young women, one in particular you’d found he was a little more fond of; a red haired, Irish princess by the name of Niamh. Enar was catching up to him, so far not taking a fancy to any of the women who came his way. He said he hadn’t found that face yet that made the earth stop. They looked like their father so much; dark hair and blue eyes, Viking princes in Ireland.  
Tordis looked like you but her eyes were still the same as Kol’s. You told Ivar that you would always love him and he was surprisingly fine with that, he didn’t really have a choice however. He loved Tordis like she was one of his own but she always knew who her father was. Ivar never demanded that she call him father and she never did. She may not have known Kol, but she was proud to come from him, you could tell. She was the shining star in your life.  
Of course you’d had more children with Ivar; another boy, Soren and a girl, Ingrid.  
You were pregnant again, the midwife saying it was twins this time.  
You wanted no more after this.  
You were in labour again, the thralls holding your legs open while you pushed.  
Hvitserk actually grew to be happy here, after taking a long period to adjust. He was still your best friend, still the one you went to when you needed to talk. He already had a growing brood with Erica, and possibly another one on the way. Erica said she needed a tonic to calm him down because she was fed up of getting pregnant all the time now.  
Ubbe stayed, much to your surprise. He and Ivar… They would never be as close as they were but Hvitserk was the glue that kept them together at least. And Ivar had given them land, titles, they would have wealth. He’d changed from how he was in Kattegat, it was as if that place corrupted his mind and now he was away from it, he could be someone else. Someone not hell bent on revenge.  
Ubbe was married, several kids that were just as feral as yours and Hvitserk’s children. They were all going to wreak havoc once the younger ones reached age.  
Your sisters were married to Irish guards; Runa on her third child while Thora was on her first. Vegard, Storr, Haldor and Ottaraor stayed in Kattegat, with Haldor taking on Ander’s child as his own and staying with Bjorn and his army. They’d probably never forgive you for killing Ander. Bjorn survived your attack unfortunately but he was weak, and growing weaker as the years went by. He never gave up searching for you either. You father had come with you and, even though he missed your mother, he loved a happy life until his death three years ago. You gave him a Viking funeral, your heart breaking at saying goodbye to him.  
“Where’s Ivar?” You shouted, pushing.  
“Settling disputes, My Queen, push.”  
The first babies cry echoed around the room and you only waited a few minutes before the next one was due. The door to your bedroom burst open and in walked Ivar, wiping blood off his face.  
“Dispute went well then?” You asked, screaming as you pushed out the second child.  
The midwife delivered the afterbirth and you lay back on the bed, Ivar crawling beside you.  
“A boy and a girl My Queen, My King.” The midwife said, handing one to you and one to Ivar.  
“How many is this now?” He laughed and you glared at him.  
“Seven children birthed… No more Ivar. No more.” You said, looking down at one of your babies. The thrall covered you with a blanket, making you decent so your other children could come in.  
“Why couldn’t it have been two boys?” Soren asked, clearly annoyed that there was another girl  
“Thank the Gods. Tordis is getting annoyed with me now.” Ingrid said, crawling onto the bed to look at them.  
“Have you named them yet?” Enar asked.  
“How about you name them?” Ivar said, looking at his children.  
“Gods don’t give them that choice!” You joked.  
“I’m not naming a girl!” Soren said disgusted.  
“You named Ingrid. And there’s a boy here too.” You reminded him and his cheeks turned red.  
“Just think; another boy and another girl we can train and look after. They’ll need protecting and what better protection to have than boys.” Mikkel said proudly, until Tordis hit him in the side and he looked at her in annoyance “And they’ll have their very own shield maiden.”  
“Thank you so much for acknowledging me, Mikkel.”  
“I was going to anyway, you just never give me a chance.”  
“Bit like when were sparring huh. I never give you a chance to fight back…?” She looked down at her nails and oh gods whoever married her when they were older was going to get one tough bride. Mikkel bristled, red splotches on his cheeks  
“You…” He began but was cut off  
“Father can we go to our fighting lessons now? Uncle Hvitserk and Ubbe said we can use the axe today.” Enar asked, diffusing the situation. Although there was a gleam in his eye at the thought of axe fighting…  
“Off you go then.” Ivar sighed, looking down at his son and daughter. Tordis and Ingrid stayed, Tordis stood behind her little sister as the boys ran out.  
“Are you not going Tordis?” Ivar asked his her but she shook her head, looking down at the bundles in your arms.  
“I’ll be old enough to look after them now.” Ingrid grinned at Tordis, clearly pleased with no longer being the baby  
“Come on, let’s leave mother and father to their new babies.”  
Ivar stiffened at what she called him but it wasn’t in annoyance, it was with love.  
“You know you don’t have to call me that if you don’t want to.”  
“I know, but it’s getting annoying calling you Ivar all the time when all the rest of them say father. This doesn’t mean anything though, I’m still proud to be Kol’s daughter.”  
“And so you should.” He said, kissing her hand as she left. She held onto to Ingrid’s hand as she skipped beside her.  
“Oh,” she said, turning back to look at you both. She patted Ingrid on the bum and she carried on out of the door, “Were you serious about naming them?”  
“Of course,” Ivar said, “What names do you have in mind?”  
“Just for the boy really. I mean I never got to know my father and I’d like to think that having a brother with his name will help me. So I’d like to call the boy Kol.”  
You blinked back tears, swallowing a cry and you nodded your head, Ivar smiling at Tordis.  
“If I knew you were both going to cry I never would have brought it up.” She said sarcastically.  
“I don’t cry.” Ivar told her.  
“You’ve cried everytime mother has given birth. Nothing gets past me!” She shouted as she shut the door behind you both.  
“She has your attitude.” Ivar said, trying not to laugh.  
“Of course she does! But she has Kol’s calmer side.” You laughed, soothing your babies as they started to cry.  
“Astrid. For the girl.” Ivar supplied and you looked down at your little girl.  
“Yeah, she suits that name.”  
“Are you okay with the boy being called Kol?” He asked you.  
“Yes. It’s fitting. And this little man will definitely live up to his name.”  
You looked up at him and you could see the pure love in his face. Ivar never got enough of looking at his children, never believing that he could have them.  
“Are you okay?” You asked.  
“I’m just happy. Extremely happy.” He replied, wiping away the tears as you couldn’t.  
“Ivar… I love you. Thank you for my children.”  
“Thank you, your the one who carried them, who birthed them. I should be saying that to you. I love you Y/N. You are without a doubt the best thing that happened to me. You’re irreplaceable, my world.”  
“You better hope that stays true. I’m very handy with a knife you know.” You said, looking to where his crotch was. He smirked at you in return.  
Ivar hadn’t even looked at another woman since you’d gotten here.  
“Did you mean it when you said no more?” Ivar asked mischievously.  
“Let me rest for a while and I’ll think about it.” You laughed.  
For now you were content with all the children you had, living happily in Ireland. You were both always on edge for threats and battles. You’d had a few, but you managed to fight your way out of it all, Soren and Ingrid being conceived after Ivar and yourself had killed people but you couldn’t help yourself. There was just something about a bloodied Ivar that turned you on.  
“I’ll give you a year.”  
“That’s not even funny.” You replied.  
“I best go tell Hvitserk the good news.”  
“Poor Erica, he’ll be wanting to get her with twins soon.” You laughed. Ivar didn’t move off the bed though, he just stayed watching them.  
After the children had done their fighting lessons, Ivar left you with Kol and Astrid to rest and feed and to tell everyone about the birth of his son and daughter. You heard the cheering from both your men and the Irish men that had pledged their allegiance to Ivar. Many of them taking Viking women as their lovers or wives, Viking men having the Irish women too.  
When the festivities had died down and the children said goodnight before going to bed, the thralls helped you put the twins in their beds and you settled down, watching them from your bed.  
Ivar crawled in beside you, his crippled legs touching yours. He always tried to hold them back from you but you always nestled in, not caring about his legs.  
“They are perfect.”  
“Of course they are. What did you expect?”  
You turned to face him, your foreheads touching, noses level with each other.  
“I know I said it before but I do love you Ivar. You’re in my heart and you are never leaving.”  
“Good, because you’re buried in mine too.”  
You kissed him softly before turning back to look at your children. His arms wrapped around you, head on your shoulder so he could look at them too.  
“I love you.” He whispered to you once you’d fallen asleep, “and I thank whoever that you were fated for me. Twice.”  
THE END


End file.
